Into the Darkness
by Cayle
Summary: Chuck struggles to deal with his father's death by leaving behind all he knows and retreating into a world of drugs and alcohol. Blair begins to battle with her own demons as she tries to cope with Chuck's rejection and the other pressures in her life.
1. We are the Same

**Disclaimer: I do not own, nor am I responsible for, the creation of any characters in this story or the Gossip Girl series.**

Just. Keep. Breathing. Blair Waldorf stared icily at her own reflection, willing herself to calm down. Aside from looking very, very pale, the reflection that greeted her was reassuringly familiar. She was satisfied that she had successfully managed to mask the relentless turmoil inside with a cold, unreadable exterior. She inspected her face for any visible puffiness, and decided to brush her teeth one more time, just to be sure.

The past 48 hours had been a tremendous blur. Even Blair was surprised that she had managed to remain composed throughout Bart Bass's funeral, Chuck's dramatic exit, and her mother's spur of the moment wedding. It had been an emotional rollercoaster, which, for a fleeting second, she hoped had a happy ending. But then she woke up to find Chuck gone, this time maybe for good. If it weren't for the note, she could scarcely be sure she hadn't dreamt the whole thing.

She had stayed awake the rest of the night; completely numb. She could hardly breathe, just sitting, rigidly, on the corner of the bed in her rumpled gown, the note clenched in her fist. Finally, sometime around 5 am, she had crept out to the kitchen, and dismantled what was left of her mother's wedding cake. When she finished that, she moved on to whatever else she could find; chips, crackers, cookies, and a box of expensive chocolate her father had sent her. She'd scarcely crammed the last handful into her mouth than she had run to the bathroom; releasing the contents of her stomach into the toilet bowl and praying that her mother wouldn't here over the sound of the running water.

She was feeling light-headed, and so steadied herself, slowly counting to ten. Blair was well-practiced in this kind of behavior. Even when she had her… "habit" under control, she was never one for emotional outbursts. She was an ice queen; cold, calculating, concealed. Certainly not like Serena, who often wore her heart on her sleeve.

But then again, she wasn't like Chuck either. "I suppose that's because I still have a heart…even if it's well guarded." She thought to herself bitterly. She could never be that cruel to someone she loved, unlike him. She could never stand there heartlessly, empty and contemptuous, while someone she loved poured out his soul. But no matter how much he hurt her, she refused to let it show, also unlike him, who lashed out at everyone around.

She finished brushing her teeth, and carefully gave herself one last, long look in the mirror. Certainly not acceptable for an event like the Snowflake Ball, but it should do to get through breakfast without any questions. Damn. The Snowflake Ball made her think of him, and for the moment, she had to stop doing that. The last thing she needed was Eleanor and Cyrus breathing down her back.

Blair walked carefully into the dining room, only to find Cyrus lovingly spoon feeding her mother a raspberry Danish. Even this early morning PDA could scarcely bring Blair back to reality, and though she didn't even feel like acknowledging them, she did give her signature "ugh", so as not to arouse their suspicions. "Well, good morning to you too." Cyrus greeted good-naturedly. To Blair's disgust, he seemed to be even more cheerful than usual.

"Blair," Eleanor scolded, fixing a sharp eye on her daughter, "Aren't you going to say a proper good morning to your stepfather?"

"I like the sound of that Mrs. Waldorf-_Rose_." Cyrus said with special emphasis, leaning over to kiss his new wife. The two minutes of giggling and flirtation that followed saved Blair from having to answer. Instead, she nibbled uncomfortably on a slice of orange, and fixated her gaze on a blank space of wall above their heads. Deep down, in spite of all her protests, Blair was happy that her mother had found love; even if it came in a short, bald, emotional package. Yet today, in the wake of her broken heart, Bair found their open displays of love even more stifling than ever.

"It feels a little stuffy in here," She burst out, standing up suddenly and startling her mother and Cyrus from their reverie. "I think I'll go for a walk and get some fresh air".

Ignoring her mother's protest of "But you haven't eaten anything!" Blair breezed past Darota, grabbed her coat, and was out the door without a second glance. Not as composed as she would have hoped, but all things considered she was holding herself together rather well.

It was a gray and moody New York day, with the decisive possibility of snow lingering in the wind's icy chill. Blair jammed her hands in the pockets of her coat, hunched her shoulders, and walked briskly in the direction of Central Park. Despite the cold weather, New York was alive and bustling, seeming even livelier than usual with the impending spirit of Christmas. Blair felt like a fish swimming upstream as she passed throngs of holiday shoppers, laughing and laden with parcels.

As she entered the park she saw bundled families with small children running and playing, their noses red from the cold. And, as always with the curse of unrequited love, she saw couples everywhere. There seemed to be swarms of them; strolling hand in hand, flirting, cuddling on park benches, sipping hot cocoa, and making out under every tree. She wanted to scream at the top of her lungs, addressing all of them, "Don't you people know this will never work out? Why bother? You're only going to be miserable in the end!"

But instead she slumped on a bench, watching them pass with a mixture of sadness and disgust. In reality, she had never felt so alone in her life. Her mother and Cyrus were too overcome by romance to even notice her. Not that this was really anything new, her mother had always been too busy to pay her much attention. Her father was thousands of miles away in France, and Serena was gallivanting around Buenos Aires with Aaron.

Oh to be Serena, she thought bitterly; constantly pursued and desired, not only by Aaron, but Dan as well. She sincerely doubted Serena's amorous intentions had ever been met with a callous, "well that's too bad".

For a fleeting second, she though about calling the girls in her posse, but was certain she wouldn't be able to stomach their insincerity. She knew if she uttered a word about what happened with Chuck they would put on a tremendous show of comforting her, telling her how wrong he was and how he didn't deserve her. But as soon as she turned her back they would be snickering and gossiping maliciously (Really, what was she thinking by actually falling for _Chuck Bass_? What did she think would happen? Who would have thought Blair Waldorf would become such a _slut_?).

She sat, numb with cold, continuing to wallow in self pity. What had she done to deserve this? As was common with all people in her predicament, she imagined herself completely alone in her pain. No one else could possibly understand what it felt like to be this _alone_. No one except for perhaps Chuck Bass himself.

This thought made Blair feel both extreme pity and rage. She hated the thought of him out there by himself, spinning out of control far away from everyone who cared about him. But she was also furious at him for pushing her away. He had chosen to be alone. She hadn't.

From somewhere inside of her came a nagging memory of a conversation she'd had with Chuck the past summer, which now seemed vague and far away. In her best effort to make Chuck jealous, she had used Markus for her own benefit, and ended up unintentionally hurting him in the process. When confronted, she had lashed out at Chuck, blaming him for the entire situation. "I didn't make you use him Blair", He had argued coolly. Looking at her with smoldering eyes he'd added, "We are the same".

Though she had abruptly pushed this statement to the back of her memory it still routinely returned to haunt her. And she couldn't help thinking that perhaps it wouldn't bother her so much if it weren't at least partially true. But Blair Waldorf the same as Chuck Bass?

If pressed, she supposed she could indeed admit that she sometimes used people to further her own agenda, and this sometimes got her in trouble. But she also had to admit that despite her best efforts to suppress it, she did have a small twinge of conscience beneath her scheming exterior. After an internal struggle it had often appeared to reverse the damage she had done; like when she had tried to sabotage her father's relationship with Roman, or told her mother Cyrus had cheated on his first wife, or tried to keep Serena out of Yale…

But in the end she'd always done the right thing. Not necessarily something to be proud of, considering she had been the one to cause chaos in the first place, but it at least proved she had some feelings.

Chuck, on the other hand, was a walking emotionless void; incapable of feeling anything, except maybe anger and hate. She had been such an idiot to ever believe he could love her in return. Maybe she was more like him than she realized. While he had literally turned his back on love, she had also given up any chance of real happiness, by choosing to love someone as soulless as Chuck Bass. _Only a masochist could ever love such a narcissist…_

Her thoughts were momentarily interrupted by the sight of a familiar figure walking briskly across the park. "Nate!" She called, jumping up and jogging to catch him.

"Blair," He welcomed, fixing her with his usual dazzling smile, "What are you doing here?" Despite his friendliness, Blair could tell by the circles under his eyes that he was still troubled by recent events.

"Have you seen Chuck?" She interjected quickly, searching his bright blue eyes.

He let out a long sigh, momentarily avoiding her eyes. "Yeah, he stopped by my place late last night, he was really upset. He said he'd come to tell me he was leaving, and not to try and find him."

"And you just let him GO?" Blair was practically yelling, and several passersby looked in their direction. "How could you Nathaniel, you're his best friend. He's clearly not in his right mind!"

"No…I didn't," Nate stammered indignantly. "I talked and begged him not to go. I told him we were all here for him and we would work everything out. Finally, he said he'd stay if I ran down to the store and bought him another bottle of liquor. When I came back he was gone."

"Genius," muttered Blair in frustration, "Did you really think he was going to stick around?"

"Yeah, I did." Nate defended. "But listen, Blair, Chuck has the power and money to disappear if he wants to, and no one is going to be able to stop him."

"He made that pretty clear." Said Blair, looking away as she felt tears twinge at the corner of her eyes.

"Hey," Nate reached out and comfortingly squeezed her hand. "It will be okay. He's really upset, but he'll come around. He really cares about you, Blair."

She gave a sharp laugh, which was half hiccup, half sob. "If he cared about me he wouldn't have left."

"You don't know that," said Nate gently. "He told me to watch out for you".

"That's great," Blair choked out, barely managing to keep her composure. "That was so thoughtful of him."

"I know this is hard. I'm really worried about him too. But a couple of days boozing it up in a hotel somewhere and he'll remember where his friends are. I promise I'll let you know if I hear anything.

"Thanks". They stood in awkward silence for a moment, both looking at the ground, lost in thought.

Finally Nate spoke, "I'm going to meet Vanessa for lunch. We'd both be really happy if you want to join us. We should all stick together right now."

"Thanks Nate, but I can't," Blair lied, "I promised my mom and Cyrus I'd eat with them today."

The pair cordially bid each other farewell, and Blair watched him walk away through a swirl of crisp snow, which had just begun to fall. She was alone again.


	2. City of Angels

**I do not own any of these characters or the Gossip Girl series.**

**SPOILER ALERT: the following contains some minor spoilers from upcoming episode 2-14. (Specifically, where Chuck runs off to and who brings him back)**

The world was a blur of colors and sounds and none of it made sense. Chuck Bass veered off Silom Road, past hoards tourists clustered around the stalls lining the sidewalk, gawking over T-shirts, purses, Thai silk, paper lanterns, and carved wooden images of Buddha. He was vaguely aware of people recoiling at his presence, stepping aside, casting him concerned gazes, and murmuring to one another. Maybe it was the dead look in his eyes that unnerved them, but he was too drunk to care. He merely sneered and pushed his way past.

He turned down one of the side streets, stumbling on the uneven pavement, and glaring angrily at the cockroaches that scuttled past his feet. Above him, bright neon lights beckoned invitingly, causing his head to spin. He was less noticeable here, for the smiling backpacker couples and the middle-aged tour groupers wearing khaki shorts and fanny packs had vanished. Instead the alley crawled with shadows; tipsy businessmen and unsavory youth in tight T-shirts, all flanked by slim, smiling women wearing skin-tight dresses and very high heels.

Chuck stepped aside and leaned heavily against the wall under a blinking "karaoke" sign. It had rained earlier and the night was balmy; steam seemed to be rising from cracks in the pavement. Wiping the sweat from his brow he reached into his breast pocket, taking a swig from a small silver flask. The alcohol warmed his throat, and he instantly felt better. It was an elixir to him, a never-ending source of strength, and more importantly, forgetfulness. He dared not close his eyes, for each time he did a flurry of images danced before them in the darkness: his father, stern and disapproving, Lilly, slapping him angrily across the face at his father's funeral, and the hurt look in Eric's eyes that he had pretended not to notice as he angrily rebuffed his pleas to stay.

And Blair...most of all he had to forget about her. God, she was _beautiful_. The way her dark eyes had looked as she told him that she…The pain of this memory was too gut-wrenching to bear, and desperate for relief, Chuck finished off the contents of the flask in a single gulp. He reveled in the feeling of his head spinning, and his thoughts, at least for the moment, mercifully shattered.

Yet as he staggered down the alley, which reeked of sewage and chili paste, his memories once again overtook him. He had been a boy of nine years the first time he had set foot in this very city… the City of Angels. Yes, Bangkok's real name, long and impossible to pronounce in Thai actually meant "the City of Angels". He laughed at the bitter irony. He'd read it in a guidebook on his first trip, as he roamed, awestruck, amongst the sparkling, gilded spires of Wat Phra Kaew. His pursuits at that time had been much more wholesome, and the inescapable weight of his bitterness had only just begun to burden him. Usually, Bart had gone on his many business trips alone, or with one of his many girlfriends. But for some reason on this occasion he had decided that his son should accompany him to Bangkok. And while Bart had spent his days in conferences, young Chuck, with nanny in tow, had gone out to explore the city. He had been dazzled by the flashing lights, vibrant markets, and bustling canals filled with rickety wooden houses on stilts and long- tail boats skimming across the muddy water.

On the last day of their trip his father had taken him to see a Thai boxing match in an old, smoky stadium near Lumphini Park. They had sat in the front row, watching the wiry fighters kick and pummel one another. It was never somewhere Chuck could have pictured his sophisticated father; yet in the packed stadium the older man had seemed remarkably relaxed, sipping a beer and joking with Chuck during intervals between the deafening cheers. It was one of Chuck's few such memories of his father. Perhaps that was why he still clung to it. Perhaps that was why he had run to Bangkok of all places. Perhaps it was a mistake to return to the scene of such a strong memory when all one wanted to do was forget. Of course, the city held other attractions as well…

"Hey mister, you lonely?" The girl who had appeared next to him purred in a thick accent. She probably would have been quite pretty had it not been for the thickly coated layers of makeup which overpowered her delicate features. Two more girls had materialized next to Chuck's left elbow. They were in their twenties, slim, graceful, and wearing very short skirts. "Ya wanna go dancing mister?" one asked, giggling and batting her eyes. "How 'bout a drink, mister?" They gestured to a strobe-lit staircase that wound upward into one of the nearby buildings. The sounds of laughter and thumping base mingled with the scents of smoke and alcohol emanating from the passageway.

"Seems like my kind of place," mused Chuck, turning and smiling down at his new companions. "How about you dance, and I'll watch?" He asked slyly. The girls melted into a fit of giggles, grabbing his arms and pulling him towards the nightclub.

"Mister, what your name?" Asked the tallest, a pretty girl with thick bangs and blue eye shadow.

Chuck smirked, and feeling the alcohol coursing through his veins he replied smugly, "I'm Chuck Bass".

*******************************************************************

"I'm so sorry B."

Blair was huddled in bed, where it seemed she had spent the majority of the past two days, under the pretense of catching a bug on the plane home from Paris. She was a total mess; her hair was wild and tangled, she'd scarcely bothered with makeup, and this morning Eleanor and Cyrus had come home early and almost caught her purging in the bathroom. And the worst part was that she didn't even care anymore. And now Serena had appeared, looking as fresh and radiant as ever, just returned home from her trip to Buenos Aires with Aaron. Blair had just finished spilling the story of Chuck's rejection and subsequent disappearance.

"At this point," sniffed Blair, reaching for one of the many tissues strewn across her bed, "I don't even mind if he hates me. I just want to know he's okay."

"I'm sure he's fine." Serena comforted, "He's just upset and needs some time to cool off." She was sitting cross-legged at the foot of the bed, her golden hair flowing freely down her back.

"It's just…" Blair stammered, "No one's heard from him and I really didn't want him to be all alone, especially on Christmas. Ugh, look at me! I can't believe that I am getting this worked up about _Chuck Bass_!" She wasn't even trying to hide the tears that occasionally slid down her cheeks. It felt so good to finally talk to someone.

"Well, I don't think you can blame that one on Cyrus." Serena smiled gently, tactfully avoiding mentioning that Chuck probably hadn't been alone on Christmas. Instead, she crawled across the bed to give her friend a tight hug. "Hey, it will be okay. Chuck will come back and you'll work everything out."

Her throat still felt tight, but Blair nodded thankfully and dried her eyes. "So," She asked, forcing herself to assume a more cheerful tone, "How was Buenos Aires?"

Serena smiled, somewhat too dreamily for Blair's taste, and launched into a rambling description of the Argentinean capital's "colonial architecture" and "gorgeous plazas". "We even went salsa dancing, and Aaron took me to some really great galleries!"

Blair half listened with a twinge of jealousy, her mind wandering to her own holiday travels. The day after she had run into Nate at Central Park, she and Eleanor, along with Cyrus, had jetted off to Paris for a week. The brief trip had been a welcome distraction, and seeing her father on Christmas was wonderful. But not even the beautiful sight of the wintry Paris skyline, and the Eiffel Tower's outline through steadily falling snow could bring her peace.

"And so we just got back this morning, and after I went home to see my family I came straight here. Everything's been so crazy!" Serena finished.

"How is your mom doing?" Blair inquired vaguely, her mind still drifting.

" I didn't actually see her, she was out. It was just Eric and my grandma. Eric did say she has been acting really strange. I guess she's still just having a hard time dealing with Bart…"

"Oh!" Exclaimed Blair brightly, eager to change the subject from the Bass men. "It seems like things are working out well between you and Aaron. Does this mean that Lonely Boy is finally out of the picture?"

"Uh…" Serena hesitated, "Yes…well, I don't know. It's complicated. We keep having the same discussion about moving on, but at the same time neither of us can really do it. But I really do LIKE Aaron! I mean things are going really well. I don't know."

"Well, you did go to Buenos Aires with Aaron," said Blair in her matter-of-fact tone. "That seems like a good start".

Serena shrugged sheepishly. "I guess. But Dan just sent me a text saying we need to talk. I don't know, it's just like we're going in circles."

"So you still have feelings for him?"

"I don't know!" Serena groaned, leaning back and closing her eyes. "Its so complicated. What would you do, B?"

Blair snorted. "I should hardly be giving out relationship advice right now, considering the emotionally disturbed sociopath to whom I just professed my love drove off in the opposite direction as fast as he could!" She paused for breath for a moment, becoming more serious. "BUT, the one thing I have learned from this is that you can't help who you love. And if that person is Dan, then you should be honest about it."

"Thank you," said Serena sincerely, rolling over and grasping her friend's hand. "That really means a lot to me."

They lay there, each quietly contemplating her respective situation, when Serena broke the silence. "You know what? We both really need to put this behind us for awhile and go have some fun." Suddenly, she was all energy, bouncing to her feet and opening the curtains to let a thin stream of winter sunlight into the room.

"Ugh," Blair grumbled, laying back and covering her face with a pillow. "What happened in Buenos Aires that made you into Mary Poppins?"

Serena stood, hands on hips, surveying the damage. There were tissues everywhere, a stack of magazines, several empty ice cream cartons, and a pile of Blair's favorite vintage DVD's. "Come on B, you can't just stay in here like a hermit forever? How many times in the past two days have you watched _Breakfast at Tiffany's_?"

"Six?" Blair answered weakly, emerging from underneath the pillow and looking around her room.

"Blair," said Serena, taking on a motherly tone. "You are strong, and you are going to get through this. Besides, when Chuck does come back you won't be able to help him by wallowing in bed all day."

"You're right," Blair relented. "There are other ways to deal with this."

"That's the spirit!" Said Serena cheerfully, "Get up, we need to find you something to wear. Because you know what tomorrow is, right?"

Heartened by Serena's positive attitude, Blair felt some of her old strength creeping back. A small smile spread across her lips as she answered, "New Year's Eve".

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Chuck could no longer be certain what day of the week it was, or how long he had been in Bangkok. He'd spent most of his time at the club, in a drug and alcohol induced haze, watching the girls gyrate on the stage to blaring music. It was on such a night that he was occupying his favorite couch, with a cigarette in one hand, a glass of vodka in the other, and a girl on each side. He was so mesmerized by the dancers leaping across his blurred vision that he hardly noticed the figure approaching, until the statuesque man was standing right in front of him.

"Charles, it's your uncle Jack. It's time to come home."

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: Thanks to everyone who read and reviewed. It's my first time writing a story on this site, and I really appreciate the support! Cheers, C**


	3. Prelude

**Once again, I own nothing to do with Gossip Girl. Enjoy!**

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"You look really amazing S." Blair commented admiringly as Serena twirled in front of her.

"I don't know," mused Serena, turning sideways to scrutinize herself in the mirror. "I just don't know if red is my color."

Blair sighed exaggeratedly. "Serena, _everything_ is your color. You could make a burlap sack sexy and you know it. So shut up."

It was the truth; and on that particular night, wearing an elegant, deep-red strapless gown by Monique Lhuillier, Serena even seemed to out-glamour herself. Her blond curls were swept dramatically off her forehead into a stylish up-do, and the stilettos accentuated her long legs.

"Seriously B, it's going to be the best New Year's ever. I promise, we are going to have fun even if it kills us." Serena laughed. "Hey, do you remember when we were kids raiding our mothers' makeup kits?"

"Of course I remember," Blair recalled fondly. "We'd play dress-up for hours, always pretending we were about to go out to some ball…"

"And," Serena giggled, "Nate and Chuck would always try and break in to see what we were up to. Then they'd tease us forever when they saw all the lipstick we'd managed to smear on each other." Blair's face fell at the sound of Chuck's name, and Serena instantly changed the subject. "Just let me get another drink, and I'll help you finish curling the back of your hair."

It was 7 o'clock in the evening, and the girls were over at Blair's preparing for an evening of festivities. Ever since Serena had returned home the day before Blair had begun feeling more like her old, feisty self. She's awoken with an energy that she hadn't felt since before Bart's funeral, and even happily dined with her mother and Cyrus for breakfast; the first full meal she had managed to keep down in a week. She could remember at least two other occasions (and probably more if she really thought about it) that Chuck Bass had almost ruined her life, and she wasn't about to let it happen now. Just because he'd broken her heart didn't mean she would let him destroy the reputation she had worked so hard to create. _You're a Waldorf, remember_?

Earlier that morning she had even enthusiastically worked with Serena to map out their attack on New Year's Eve. First, they were meeting the girls-Penelope, Hazel, Kati, and Isabel-for dinner and drinks at Geisha at 8 pm. From there, they would likely head Marquee, and later to the swank party at Hotel Gansevoort, where they had a rooftop table reserved.

Serena poured herself a shot from the supply of vodka she'd brought over, and threw it back without blinking.

"Wow S," Blair commented, eying the diminishing level of alcohol still sloshing in the bottle. "Getting the party started a little early, aren't you? How many have you had?"

"Come on B," Serena appealed, "it's New Year's Eve, it only happens once a year!"

"Funny, then I would think you would want to remember it." Blair shot back, not quite sure why she was feeling so aggressive.

Serena threw her a warning glance, but decided not to pursue the subject. She was just relieved that Blair had finally managed to rally, and got her mind off of you-know-who.

"So I was thinking about pulling the sides up," said Serena, standing behind her friend and twisting a section of Blair's dark hair around the barrel of the curling iron. "What do you think?"

"Sure," Replied Blair nonchalantly, studying her reflection closely as Serena continued styling. She's always felt inadequate next to Serena, even when they were young. Somehow, both figuratively and literally, she had always been trailing in her shadow, completely obscured by Serena's radiant shine. In the beginning, it had been more of an annoyance. Yes, Serena was dazzlingly beautiful, but Blair convinced herself that she had other qualities far deeper than those at surface level. She was a straight-A student, accomplished in all her activities, popular in her own rite, with a spotless reputation and a perfect boyfriend.

But despite the immense amount of work she poured into all of these things, Serena seemed to be able to effortlessly match her in every aspect. It didn't matter that she behaved wildly and got mediocre grades; she just coasted by. No one held her indiscretions against her; if anything they even made her more popular and powerful. Serena had even gotten into Yale, a goal that Blair barely accomplished despite slaving away since grade school. Not to mention the fact that, while she waited chastely by his side, Nate had constantly overlooked her while he lusted after her best friend. Over time, these occurrences had not only made her extremely jealous, but also started to chip away at her self esteem. Now, staring at the two images in the mirror, she felt a familiar pang of doubt.

Forcing her gaze away she asked casually, "Did you invite Dan or Aaron to the party?"

Serena grimaced. "I told Aaron I'd text him when we got to the club, and I have no idea of Dan's plans at the moment."

"So you still haven't talked to him?"

"No, I don't even know what to say."

"Well, maybe he'll appear at Marquee and the alcohol will just talk for you." Blair teased.

"Hey," Exclaimed Serena, slapping Blair playfully on the shoulder, "Maybe you should have a few shots; you could stand to loosen up a bit!"

Blair allowed herself a small smile. "You're probably right."

Serena finished her creation by effortlessly pulling back and securing several locks of Blair's tresses with jeweled bobby pins. "There, now you will really sparkle," She said, stepping back to admire her handiwork.

_Never, with you around_, Blair thought resentfully, but instead she replied, "Thanks, S, it's gorgeous. I'll go get dressed."

Serena sat delicately on the edge of the bed and consumed another shot of vodka while Blair slipped into her dress; a classy, strapless black Vera Wang.

"So, what do you think?" Blair asked, parading in front of her friend and giving a flamboyant twirl. "Do I look ready for the best New Year's Eve ever?"

The ghost of a frown flickered across Serena's face before she arranged her features into a stiff smile, "Wow…B, you look…amazing."

Noticing her initial action, Blair froze, fixing her friend with a piercing gaze. "What's that supposed to mean?" She demanded angrily, hands on hips.

"Just what I said, you look gorgeous," Serena insisted, looking down and fiddling with the cap to the vodka bottle.

Blair continued glaring, forcing her voice to remain steady as she spoke, "What is it Serena, is my dress somehow not suited to your royal presence, or is it me?"

"No, B, I didn't mean it, it's just that…" Serena muttered, obviously uncomfortable.

"Just WHAT?" Blair fumed, beginning to lose the fragile grasp on her temper

"Have you lost weight or something?" Serena blurted out. "You just look a little pale and…I don't know. Are you okay?"

Now it was Blair's turn to glance away. She shrugged, occupying herself by digging through her handbag. "I got a cold from the plane, and I've been really tired. I probably just haven't been getting enough protein."

"B," Serena persisted gently, "I saw, like, three empty ice cream cartons in your room yesterday. If you've been eating that much Ben and Jerry's you should probably have a little more meat on your bones."

Blair ignored her and continued rummaging through her purse. "Do you know where I put my lipstick?"

"_Blair_," Serena warned, her tone sounding disturbingly like Eleanor's.

"God, S, you sound just like my mother!" she snapped, whirling to face her friend. "What is your problem?"

Serena retorted, completely exasperated, "My problem is that I'm worried about you!"

"I don't need a lecture on good nutritional habits, thank you very much. Especially from someone who drinks beer for breakfast," Blair replied coldly.

"And I don't need lectures on drinking, either!" Serena shot back angrily, "but that doesn't stop _you_."

The two stood there, glowering at one another and seething for close to a minute before Serena broke the silence. "Look," she suggested her voice much gentler, "I don't want to fight with you tonight. I just want to go have a great time. God knows we both need it. So let's just forget about this-and all the other drama-and just go have fun. Truce?"

"Truce," Blair agreed readily, eager to forget the entire conversation. "I think I'll take you up on that drink now."

Serena beamed. "I thought you'd never ask!" She carefully poured two shots, and handed one off to Blair before announcing ceremoniously, "To the best New Year's Eve ever. All fun and NO drama."

They clinked glasses and downed the liquor, giggling like little girls. "All fun and no drama," Blair repeated giddily, feeling the alcohol wash over her. "Thanks S, I know this is going to be a really great night."

"That's my girl," said Serena encouragingly.

"I just need the restroom and then we can take off," said Blair, ducking into the bathroom and closing the door behind her.

Serena smiled contentedly and began gathering her things. Maybe it was the vodka talking, but was beginning to feel extremely optimistic about the evening. Maybe it really would be as perfect as they kept telling themselves. Unfortunately, she barely had time to savor the thought, for just as she was about to put it away her cell buzzed ominously. Serena lazily flipped open the screen and gasped, her heart plummeting. It was a text from Gossip Girl.

"**Spotted: Our favorite MIA millionaire Chuck Bass staggering through JFK Airport, looking like he hasn't slept in weeks. And who is that handsome mystery man in tow? It seems our wayward badboy has finally come home, but will Ms. Waldorf be waiting in the welcome wagon? XOXO"**

"Oh my God!" Serena gasped, her eyes still frozen on the screen. She couldn't believe Chuck had finally resurfaced, and Gossip Girl was right; he looked terrible.

"Serena? Have you seen my lipstick?" Blair called from the bathroom.

"Uh, no..." Serena replied, cramming the phone into the depths of her bag. She only had a second to act. "Try looking in one of the drawer on the left!"

Reaching across the bed she grabbed Blair's purse and emptied its contents onto her lap. Now was certainly not the time to break the news of Chuck's return. Blair was finally starting to relax, and if she knew Chuck was back in the city, there was no telling what might happen. Besides, Serena justified, it would be much easier to hear the news from a friend, rather than Gossip Girl. She promised she would tell Blair herself…only later in the night and after a few more drinks. She quickly deleted the message and tossed the phone aside, just as Blair emerged from the bathroom.

"What's going on?' She asked, noticing the mess.

"Nothing!" Serena responded innocently. "I found your lipstick!"

******************************************* ************************

Chuck Bass scowled at his reflection in the mirror. Though his uncle had forced him to shower, shave, and comb his unkempt hair before boarding the plane home, he still looked far from polished. He was paler than usual, and there were dark circles under his wild, bloodshot eyes. There was no way he would have returned to New York had dear Uncle Jack not convinced him that he needed to be present at the reading of his father's will in order to claim his vast inheritance.

He had brooded over his cocktails in first class all the way home, furious at his rotten luck. But now that he was back in the city his mood was beginning to improve. Bangkok had been too humid anyway, and there was plenty of debauchery to be had here in NYC. Besides, it was New Year's Eve…

"Oh Uncle Jaaaack," He called in a mocking, sing-sing voice. "I'm going out. Don't bother waiting up."


	4. As the Clock Strikes 12

**Author's Note: Sorry it took me so long to update, I got caught up in all the holiday craziness. Thanks again to everyone who has been reading and reviewing and Happy New Year!  
**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing in relation to the Gossip Girls series or characters.**

Maybe it was the liquor talking, but for the first time in weeks Blair Waldorf actually felt _good_. The three strong martinis she had consumed at dinner had certainly helped, and so had the company of her exuberant friends. Due to the energetic atmosphere of Manhattan on New Year's Eve the girls seemed much more relaxed, and even managed to put the majority of their catty comments and social warfare aside-at least for one night. Glancing across the room, Blair felt a warm swell of gratitude for Serena, who was at the moment buying a drink and chatting up the attractive male bartender. That night she was acting especially protective of Blair, watching her like a hawk every time she went to the bathroom to make sure she didn't disappear for too long. She also expertly changed the subject each time the conversation strayed onto a topic which could possibly be associated with Chuck Bass. Sometimes Serena's vigilance infuriated Blair, but tonight she was nothing but relieved by her friend's presence. In spite of everything she wasn't quite ready to face the world alone…yet.

After a long dinner they had headed to Marquee. Blair had always liked dancing-Eleanor had forced her to take ballet for years-but like most of her actions, dancing had always been more a tool for social maneuvering rather than fun. But tonight was different. Rather than scheming and worrying over her next move, Blair simply let go of her inhibitions and savored the freedom of dancing without worrying about what another soul was thinking. She hadn't felt this way since her striptease at Victrola.

Of course, six young and attractive ladies at the center of the dance floor attracted more than their fair share of attention, and soon they were joined by a handsome group of underclassman from Columbia. "Aren't you going to call Aaron?" Blair yelled to Serena, who was dancing with her arms wrapped around a tall, dark-haired guy who looked nearly as drunk as she was.

"_Who_?" Serena called back, straining to hear over the thumping music.

"Your _boyfriend,_ S!" Blair giggled, finding her friend's skyrocketing level of intoxication incredibly amusing.

"Shit!" Serena exclaimed, disentangling herself from her new dance partner. "I'll go right now."

Blair watched her blond head weave tipsily through the crowd and smiled to herself. It really was a great night.

********************************* ************************************

Serena mentally cursed herself for her forgetfulness. She'd told Aaron that she would call him over an hour ago, but one drink had led to another, and her memory was surprisingly fuzzy. She couldn't help thinking that in spite of the great time they'd had together in Buenos Aires that their relationship still felt fragile, like there was still a cloud of uncertainty hanging over it. This obstacle, which she had to admit, was still likely linked to unresolved issues with Dan, was certainly apparent to her and likely Aaron as well. Sure enough, when she managed to flip open her phone she surmised that there were four missed calls, all from her current boyfriend. "Great," she muttered to herself, trying to maneuver towards the door and examine her phone all at once. While her concentration was directed elsewhere she neglected to watch where she was going, and ran straight into three figures who had just breezed into the club. Disoriented, Serena bent to pick up her phone, which she had dropped during the collision. As she retrieved it, a familiar voice interrupted her, drawling casually, "Well, if it isn't my hot former sister, out for a night on the town. I guess nothing has changed."

"Oh my God, Chuck!" Serena exclaimed in surprise, snapping upright to make sure she wasn't hallucinating.

"In the flesh," He smirked, tightening his grip on the arms of the two scantily-clad blonds who were clinging to either side of his jacket. "I thought I would surprise everyone, but thanks to gossip girl I guess the cat is out of the bag."

Serena stood with her jaw flapping open and her mind blank. Maybe it was the alcohol slowing her reflexes, but she had absolutely no idea what to say. She had expected Chuck to come crawling back eventually, vulnerable and angry just as he was when he left. But the Chuck that stood before her now was like a shadow of his former self. On the exterior he was almost the same arrogant, smooth-talking troublemaker he had been before his father's death. But the playful twinkle in his eye had been replaced with a deathly hollowness. His hair was longer and somewhat disheveled in spite of his efforts to tame it. The dark gray circles around his eyes accentuated his pallor and gave him a haggard, corpse-like appearance. His whole being seemed to simmer with an intense anger which was boiling just beneath the surface.

"What sis, no welcome home kiss?" He jeered, taking a menacing step towards Serena.

"Chuck, what the hell is wrong with you?" Serena gasped, moving backward to put some distance between them.

"What is wrong with me?" Chuck laughed bitterly, "Well, I could start with my dead father, or your whore of a mother, or your low-rent boyfriend's pathetic dad, but I'll refrain for the moment. It's New Year's Eve after all. You know, turning over a new leaf and all that…"

"Chuck you need help!" Implored Serena, not sure of how to best confront the monster before her. She didn't get a chance to think of a more appropriate rebuttal, for just then Blair came hurtling around the corner, looking giddy and breathless. "Serena! What happened to you? The funniest thing just happened, Hazel told-" She glanced away from her best friend just long enough to notice Chuck and froze mid-sentence, doing a double-take.

From where she was standing, Serena was able to observe both reactions. Blair's face was a mixture of incredulity and relief, and for a moment it looked as though she was about to throw her arms around Chuck's neck in spite of the two tramps clinging to him.

For a split second Chuck's eyes flashed with surprise and fear, before any sign of emotion was quickly replaced with a deadpan sneer. "Waldorf," he greeted her stiffly, "it's nice to see your still tagging along with your more attractive half."

For a moment, Blair looked stunned, but decided to let his harsh comment roll off. "Chuck, where have you been?" She demanded indignantly. "I was so worried about you!"

"We all were," Serena interjected quickly, her mind now working rapidly in an attempt to defuse the tense situation.

Chuck continued to leer at them, his lip curling in disgust. "I appreciate your concern. But I have other things to attend to."

He tried to step around them, but Blair quickly moved to block his path. "No Chuck, that's not good enough."

One of Chuck's escorts, obviously growing bored with the scene, purred softly into his ear, "I'm going to get a drink baby, meet us inside." She vanished into the club, her hips swinging, leading her equally trashy friend by the wrist.

"What the hell was that?" Blair challenged, glowering at Chuck.

He seemed reluctant to meet her eyes for a moment, but still managed to counter swiftly. "For someone thinking of Yale you're awfully stupid Waldorf. Then again, if they are considering admitting Van der Woodsen, the standards must be lower than I thought."

"What are you talking about??" The pain of the past weeks was swiftly becoming replaced by a rising anger that Blair felt burning in her chest. After everything they had been through, Chuck Bass was now treating her with complete indifference- and it made her furious.

"Do I really have to spell it out for you?" He growled, his eyes flashing venomously. "It is none of your damned business. I don't have to answer to you! Any of you. I can go where I want, drink what I want, and screw who I want. So leave me the FUCK ALONE!"

He shouted the last words so loudly that Blair winced visibly. Before she had time to react he shoved roughly past her, knocking her into Serena. Blair was too shocked to even turn around; she just stood staring in disbelief at the spot where Chuck had been standing. She felt hot tears well in her eyes as her emotions churned violently. What in the world had just happened? Serena managed to regain some of her composure, and quickly put her arm around her friends trembling shoulders. For the second time that evening she had no idea what to say. "B, I'm so sorry, I know he didn't mean it." She comforted, glancing over her shoulder for any sign of Chuck Bass. "Let's just step outside to regroup and get some fresh air."

"NO," Blair said, much more forcefully than she had intended. "He's just upset; I need to talk to him."

"And we will!" Serena insisted, "But we need to think about how to approach him. He's clearly not just going to sit and listen to us."

Blair's voice shook as she spoke. "No, he's just confused. He's so upset, and he really needs us…" Still shaken from the unexpected encounter she was simply rambling now, forcing herself to justify Chuck's terrible behavior.

"I know sweetie," Serena implored, gently leading her to the door. "We just need to think for a second."

The air outside the club was frigid, and neither of the girls had grabbed her coat. Blair shivered violently, partially from the cold and partially from the shock of Chuck's angry words. She leaned against the wall, wrapping her arms around herself while Serena paced distractedly, scrolling through her phone. "I'm calling for reinforcements." She stated, but Blair scarcely heard her. She was not going to let Chuck self-destruct if she could help it

The last time she had seen him he had been incredibly vulnerable, but now she could see his armor was up again, this time thicker than ever. He was a convincing actor, and the way he'd looked at her so coldly almost persuaded her that his words were sincere. But she knew him better than that. She understood he was doing everything in his power to push her away, and she wasn't just going to let it happen. Casting a quick glance to Serena, who was urgently talking into her cell Blair squared her shoulders and marched back into the club. She felt her heart race as she shoved her way through the crowd, fixating her eyes on the bar.

Chuck was there, and to Blair's astonishment and horror he was sloppily kissing one of his escorts who was all but sitting on his lap. The other was pressed against his back, stroking his ear. All tangled together, they resembled some kind of grotesque Greek statue, and Blair felt as though she was going to be sick then and there. She saw Chuck glance at her out of the corner of his eye and stiffen, yet he kept kissing the blond until she snapped loudly enough for the entire bar to hear, "CHUCK!" Only then did he detach himself long enough to fix her with the same cold, indifferent stare he had in the entrance. "Is there something I can do for you Waldorf? If you don't mind I'm a little busy here."

One of the girls giggled and Blair forced herself to keep the contents of her stomach down. "I need to talk to you." She said, keeping her voice as even as she could manage.

Chuck raised an eyebrow. "I'm really not interested in talking at the moment, if you know what I mean."

Blair fumed, hissing angrily. "Unless you want me to scream to the entire room that you are trying to pass around a horrendous case of herpes you had better talk to me. Now."

The blond on Chuck's lap wrinkled her nose and instantly pulled away, and the couple sitting on an adjacent pair of barstools glanced over in disgust. Chuck glowered at Blair, "Fine, I'll give you two minutes. And after that I want you to go away and stop ruining my night."

"Deal," Blair nodded, frowning conspicuously at Chuck's scantily-clad companions. "Alone." Looking vexed they obediently slid off the stools, and casting indignant glances back at Chuck and Blair disappeared into the crowd.

"I hope you're satisfied," Chuck growled, taking a long swig of his drink and refusing to meet Blair's eyes.

She scowled down at him, though her intense gaze quickly softened. He looked so tired, and there was something helpless that seemed to be lurking just below the surface of his callous façade; still evident in spite of the performance he was putting on. _He's lost and he doesn't know what to do_, Blair thought with a pang of compassion. "Chuck…" this time her voice was much softer, and caused him to look up in spite of himself. "You don't have to do this." She whispered.

"Do what?" He asked, his tone still harsh.

"Pretend like you don't care; like nothing matters." Blair could feel tears well up in her eyes, but she wasn't going to stop now. This could be her only chance to get through to him. "I know you're still upset about your father's death, I know that you're scared to care about anything again because you don't want to get hurt. But you're not fooling anyone. Chuck, please do not turn away from your friends who care about you. Do not turn away from me. We can get through this."

For a moment he stared back at her, frozen, his eyes gleaming with emotion. Blair could almost see the internal battle raging in his head as he struggled desperately to conceal the part of himself which still responded to the passion in her words. Then it was over, and by the cold sneer on his face she could tell the battle was lost. "Certainly one for the moving speeches lately aren't we Waldorf?" He mocked cruelly. "Perhaps it corresponds to a certain time of the month or maybe you truly are _delusional_."

Blair shook her head fiercely. "No Chuck, I'm right. You'll just never let anyone in."

"You think you're right about _me_?" He smirked. "You haven't gotten any closer to me than a hundred other girls in this city. The only difference is, you can't understand the different between a fling and your fairyland fantasy of true love. And when I tell you the truth, that you are _nothing_ to me, you make up elaborate excuses to explain why I can't possibly love you!" He was raging now, clenching his fists menacingly. "_Oh, Chuck's scared to commit because of his poor dead daddy! Poor lonely Chuck needs little Blair to save him." _He mimicked her in a drippy, sing-song voice.

"No," Blair whispered quietly, shaking her head. "It's not true."

"Why?" Laughed Chuck callously, "Is it because I chased you? It was all a game, Blair. It was a _conquest. _It meant nothing to me. How many times do I have to tell you? _You_ mean nothing to me! I don't want you anymore!" He was practically shouting now and shaking with fury.

Blair felt numb, scarcely aware of her surroundings or the tears streaming down her cheeks. All she could hear were Chuck's words ringing in her ears. Her throat was too tight to form a sentence, and she was gripped by the sudden urge to vomit. Unable to meet his eyes again she spun on her heel and fled.

"Hey man, what the hell did you do to her?" It was Nate, who seemed to have materialized out of thin air. Vanessa was clinging to his arm, wearing in a silver, tasseled dress and scowling down at Chuck.

Serena was also there, looking positively livid. She was so angry that she was literally trembling from head to toe. Aaron was hovering in the background, looking slightly confused and extremely disapproving. "Chuck…how…could…. you?" Serena snarled, having to force each word out separately.

"Well if it isn't the motley crew here to stage an intervention." Chuck criticized hoarsely. However, much of the venom had disappeared from his tone and he had to turn away so that his friends wouldn't see the moisture accumulating in his eyes.

************************************ ***********************************

Blair managed to reach home by 10:30 pm, in spite of the massive crowds that were building on the streets of Manhattan in preparation for the countdown. She slammed the door angrily and raced up the stairs.

"Miss Blair!" Darota exclaimed in a shocked tone, "What are you doing home so early?"

"Just leave me alone Darota!" Blair wailed, locking her bedroom door behind her and rushing into the bathroom. She didn't even bother to turn on the faucet.

It didn't take her long to empty the contents of her stomach, and when she was finished she sat hugging her knees on the cold tiles of the bathroom floor, racked by tremendous sobs. Outside, she could hear her phone vibrating in her purse, undoubtedly Serena, frantic to find her. She had never felt so alone, so scared, and so _unwanted_. Part of her was still certain that Chuck was lying, purposefully hurting her in order to drive her away. But his stinging words had left her with a nagging doubt. After all, what had he done to show her that he returned her love? Perhaps it all was a game to him, played out so brilliantly that she was convinced of the presence of real feelings.

She glanced at the clock. It was11:00. So this was how she was going to begin the New Year, curled up on the bathroom floor, reeking of her own vomit? That realization brought on a surge of unexpected strength and she shakily stood up, commanding her tears to stop. No, she was a Waldorf, _Blair Waldorf_. She was too strong to let this happen. She had other outlets for her pain, and she certainly wasn't going to let anyone know how much he'd hurt her. She would not let him get away with it; she refused to let him ruin her night. Squaring her shoulders she quickly touched up her makeup and brushed her teeth. "You can do this." She told her reflection firmly, marching out of the bathroom.

The phone was buzzing for the millionth time and Blair answered, forcing her voice to sound unnaturally cheerful. "Hello, Serena? I'm sorry, I just stepped out….Yes… I'm okay. Sure, let's meet up."

She hung up, satisfied by her performance. Chuck Bass wasn't the only one who could play dirty. This was war.


	5. The Morning After

**Disclaimer: I own nothing associated with Gossip Girl!**

Blair took a deep breath and inhaled, the scent of the black coffee sufficiently jolting her brain. Normally she preferred tea, or at least mochas dripping in chocolate, but today she decided a cup of simmering black coffee would likely be the only thing capable of curing her tremendous hangover. They were having breakfast at Serena's, though Lily was nowhere to be found and Eric, seeing their disheveled appearances, had made a quick exit. Now Serena was watching Blair's every move extremely carefully, like a doctor examining the monitor of a deathly ill patient, waiting for any sign of change.

Taking a sip of the coffee Blair made a face, and then shrugged. "It's not so bad; it really seems to be helping. Or maybe that was all the aspirin I took." Serena was still wearing pajamas, her eyes bleary and her mane of golden hair completely disheveled. But Blair had managed to disregard her throbbing head and force herself out of bed earlier. _I'm going to have to get used to ignoring pain_, she thought grimly, remembering again her encounter with Chuck. She had taken a long shower, carefully drying her long dark hair and sweeping it into an elegant ponytail. She then raided Serena's closet for a long, conservative wool skirts and black turtleneck. Satisfied, she had poured herself a cup of coffee and waited for Serena to stumble out of the bedroom, looking worried and confused. It was January 1, and she was determined to start over. No more would she allow Chuck to ruin her life, at least in public. Behind the closed doors of her bathroom all bets were off.

"So, last night was pretty crazy, huh?" Serena began awkwardly, unsure how to breach the subject.

Blair forced a smile. "It really was. I'm glad you convinced me to come out, it was a lot of fun."

Serena looked at her skeptically, as if trying to diagnose exactly what was wrong with her. Last night had been a blur. She'd arrived with Nate, Vanessa, and Aaron just in time to hear the last moments of Blair's bitter exchange with Chuck. After her best friend had fled, Serena had forgotten all social graces and completely chewed Chuck out, using every colorful word in the book. The funny thing was, she thought in recollection, he hadn't even tried to argue with her. Then, she too had stormed off, dragging Aaron with her, and leaving Nate and Vanessa to clean up the mess. Somewhere outside of the club, while trying to call Blair for the umpteenth time, she had also gotten in a huge fight with Aaron. She'd been quite drunk by then, and wasn't sure if the argument began over Blair, or Dan, or the reason why she hadn't called him. She was, however, pretty sure that they had ended things, but she had been too worried about Blair to care much one way or the other.

She had been so relieved when her friend returned her call, and after rounding up the other girls they had raced to meet Blair at a new club near Times Square. She wasn't sure how Blair had managed to make it, considering the New Year's crowds, but she had never been happier to see her. Blair had been in the midst of throwing back a shot with a crowd of young men, and when Serena rushed to hug her she simply stated coldly, "I don't want to talk about it." From there they had both tried their best to drown their troubles; and as the clock struck twelve, Serena was shocked to glance over from the guy she was kissing to see Blair frantically locking lips with a handsome blonde. The rest of the night had been lost in a swirl of drinks and dancing, though somehow, by 4 am, both girls had arrived home safely and passed out on Serena's bed.

Serena nursed a glass of water, her stomach churning. How many drinks had she had last night? Surprised, she saw Blair smirking at her phone. "What?" She demanded, still confused. "Did I do something stupid that you're not telling me?"

Blair's answer seemed genuinely pleased, and she slid the phone across the table for Serena to see. "Relax S, it was all in the name of good innocent fun."

Serena couldn't repress a smile when she saw the photos, her and Blair dancing with the girls at Marquee, and an impressive image of Blair enveloped in her midnight kiss.

**It looks like the ****Upper East Side**** crowd rung in the New Year with a bang. Rumor on the street is that B and C had quite a scene at Marquee, but it looks like the resilient Queen B didn't spend her evening crying over an escaped Bass, because there are other fish in the sea. One can't help but wonder: who is this Prince Charming our Cinderella kissed at midnight? And it looks like Serena was also flying solo tonight. Has she finally decided she is better off fishing as well? XOXO Gossip Girl. **

"Wow B…" Serena began, carefully searching her friends face for any telltale twitch that would give her away. "So…you're happy about this?" She asked searchingly.

"Yeah, why not?" Blair shrugged nonchalantly.

Serena hesitated. "Um…I know how…important your image is to you, that's all."

Blair shrugged for a second time, carefully examining her nails. "I wasn't doing anything wrong, just having fun on New Year's Eve like every other eighteen-year old in New York City."

"That's great, Blair," Serena smiled, relieved. "I'm glad you had fun. I did too, I was just worried that you only did it because-well, you know…"

"Know what?" Blair asked, arching an eyebrow.

Serena recognized that she was in dangerous waters and decided to tread carefully.

"Well, we were all pretty upset about how Chuck acted," she said gingerly. "And I just didn't know if all of this was just to make him jealous."

She expected Blair to bark back a furious response, but instead her best friend simply shrugged for a third time, now toying with the end of her ponytail. Finally, she straightened, looking Serena directly in the eye. "Look, Serena, I actually did have fun. What happened with Chuck was…_awful_, and I really don't want to talk about it. I am done letting every stupid mood swing and tantrum of his effect my life. He obviously doesn't want me around, and I just have to accept that and move on. It's time for the New Blair, who focuses on the most important things in her life like her friends and Yale and doesn't get worked up over men like Chuck Bass" She paused, adding casually, "And if the actions of New Blair do just happen to cause him to be jealous, then that's just icing on the cake."

Serena stared at her tentatively, struggling to comprehend what she was saying. "So, you're saying that you're _over _Chuck? Just like that?"

Blair's gaze never faltered, and she answered confidently, in her most matter-of-fact tone. "Yes".

Serena looked down, twisting her napkin under the table. Blair was good, but not that good. She knew that inwardly, no matter how hard she tried to hide it, that Blair was still deeply hurt and nowhere near being over Chuck. No, Serena was absolutely certain that Blair, despite all her claims to the contrary, was still completely in love with him

On the other hand, her role as supportive friend probably shouldn't involve arguing this point. While she understood how harmful keeping all these pent up emotions would be for Blair, trying to prove her new strategy wrong would only alienate her, and the last thing she needed at the moment was strain on their friendship. Besides, maybe Blair's approach was correct after all. Maybe if she just said it out loud, she eventually would get over Chuck. Realizing she had been quiet for an unnatural amount of time Serena looked up into her friend's expectant face. "That's really great B. It's about time, because he doesn't deserve you anyway."

Blair beamed in appreciation.

"And," Serena continued, "I am prepared to do whatever it takes to make sure you keep getting over him."

"Well," Said Blair, daintily peeling an orange. "I think we have a good start. So speaking of getting over things, you slurred something last night about breaking up with Aaron. Is that true?"

"Ugh, I think so," Serena groaned. She'd almost forgotten. "I actually don't really remember, everything was so hazy."

Instead of chiding her, Blair laughed loudly. "Yeah, it really was-because I have NO idea how I ended up kissing that hottie in the bar.

"Yeah, he was pretty hot," Serena sighed in recollection. "Did you get his name?"

"It wasn't that kind of night, I'm afraid." Blair snickered loudly, suddenly growing serious again. "Seriously, S, are you okay with whatever happened between you and Aaron?"

"Actually, yes," said Serena pensively. "I mean I feel bad about _how_ it ended-Aaron definitely deserved better than a drunken sign-off. But I'm not sorry it's over. I don't know…something just wasn't right."

"I know!" Blair concurred. "I know he's Cyrus's son, and I'm sure he's a perfectly decent guy, but I just never saw the two of you together."

Serena felt encouraged. "Thanks B, you inspire me. You know, maybe it's time for a New Serena as well."

"Cheers to that," Blair announced, and then, giggling, "And a much more sober cheers than last night."

Serena raised her water glass and clunked it against Blair's outstretched coffee mug. In spite of her hangover she was beginning to feel exceedingly optimistic. She had thought after the events of the previous evening that this feeling of hope would have been impossible. But she had to admit that Blair was taking it remarkably well.

********************************************** *************************

Chuck Bass, on the other hand, was not taking anything well. After his confrontation with Blair, Serena had completely berated him. _Completely deserved_, he thought bitterly. When she had finished hurling insults, Nate had appeared, alternately scolding him and pleading with him to come to his senses. Oddly, after Blair had left, he had felt every last ounce of strength drain from his body; he scarcely had the energy for his normal snide remarks. Instead, he simply sat, listlessly staring at his shoes and letting Nate's words roll off him. This seemed to confuse Nate, who had apparently been expecting a fight.

He was aware of Nate running his fingers through his hair and pacing back and forth while he talked; things he always did when he was nervous. He was vaguely conscious of Vanessa's concerned eyes on him as she whispered to Nate, "What is he _on,_ anyway?"

Finally, he stood tipsily from the stool, much drunker than he had realized, and walked out. Nate had followed at his heels, seeming unsure whether or not to physically restrain him. "Chuck, have you been listening to a word I've been saying? You can't keep doing this to yourself!"

Finally, at the curb Chuck turned with his eyes dull and his shoulders slumping with fatigue. "I heard you, Nathanial," He said, this time without a hint of malice in his voice. "I just really need to go home right now." He explained tiredly. The first truth he had told all night. Before Nate had a chance to offer to accompany him, Chuck had jumped in the limo, leaving his Nate and Vanessa standing on the corner looking dumbfounded. Painfully, this event brought up the memory of Blair, her tearful image quickly receding in the rearview mirror as he had raced away from her on the day of his father's funeral.

_You run away a lot, you know_, his conscience spoke smoothly. _You should face your troubles for once. _

But Chuck drowned the voice with a quick swig of gin from his flask. As soon as he was home he quickly poured himself a large glass of Scotch and slumped at the foot of the bed. Only then, gingerly as though he were unwrapping a gift, did he remove his cell phone from his jacket pocket to see of she had called. Nothing. He was disappointed, but not surprised. How could he expect her to even look at him again, let alone have a conversation after the hateful things he'd said? Even now he wasn't sure that he'd really done it-it was more like he had dreamt their argument, or at the very least watched from a distance_. No, it was you. It was you who said those things_. His conscience nagged, reappearing yet again. _Why are you doing this to yourself?_

"I don't know," whispered Chuck brokenly, feeling an acute stabbing pain shoot through his chest. It hurt so much he couldn't breath, and curled, gasping, into a ball on the floor. Was this it? Was he really dying? He lay like this for some time, focusing on keeping his breathing regular and willing his nausea to go away.

Suddenly, the phone vibrated and he lurched for it hopefully. It was a text from Gossip Girl. Scrolling through the photos his eyes narrowed and then he froze…it was _her_…kissing someone…someone else. Chuck leaped to his feet, seething, a jealous rage coursing through his body. With an angry roar he hurled his empty glass at the wall with such force that it shattered into hundreds of fragments. Then, his strength suddenly gone again, he collapsed onto the bed, and passed out.

He didn't wake again until nearly 3 pm the next day, the thundering in his ears so powerful he had difficulty moving. Groaning, he rolled over, gradually becoming aware of all his extremities.

"Charles, I'm glad to see you are getting some sleep for once."

He groaned. It was Uncle Jack, disdainfully nudging the pile of broken glass with his shoe.

"You know Charles," Jack said in his best authoritative voice. "You'd best start making some changes around here if you're planning on going back to school in a few days."

"I'm not going back to school," Chuck rasped. "You're not in charge of me, I can do what I want"

"Now, now Charles," Jack chided, "don't start sounding like a spoiled teenager. What you're saying is true though, I can't exactly _make_ you go back to school. However, it is my understanding that your father's will has certain…stipulations, and I don't think you'd want to do anything to jeopardize your inheritance."

Chuck buried his face in the covers, willing his uncle to disappear. Things just kept getting better and better.

****************************** *************************************

In spite her repeated reassurances to Serena, Blair had been dreading seeing Chuck at school. Given his current erratic behavior, she wondered for awhile if he would even bother returning to Constance, but finally decided to be prepared; as his Uncle Jack would probably force him back eventually. She had spent many long hours at night wondering about the best course of action. For a time, she had sincerely considered roping in a new boyfriend; nothing serious, just a nice piece of arm candy to prove to everyone that she was more than over Chuck. However, she had already gone this route before with Marcus, and now it somehow seemed too immature and obvious. Chuck would see through that plan in an instant, and for the moment Blair would rather keep him guessing. Not that occasionally being spotted on Gossip Girl with a handsome mystery man, a la New Year's Eve, would hurt.

Also in her favor was the fact that, other than Nate and Serena, no one really seemed aware of how deeply the situation with Chuck had hurt her. She assumed that it would be more than easy enough to shrug it off to the girls at school, telling everyone what was evident: Chuck was clearly struggling to deal with his father's death. Her top priority now was Yale; it wasn't long now until she'd know for sure whether or not she had been accepted. This thought sent a flurry of panic coursing through her, but she decided for the time being it was best not to worry. She just had to make sure to keep up her grades…And then there was her social calendar to concentrate on. She decided the best course of action was to attend as many events as possible, just in case anyone was still doubtful that she was really unaffected by Chuck's behavior. She certainly didn't want to be suspected of moping.

Blair was organized to the point of obsession, and the night before her first day back at school she carefully sat down to make a list. After neatly outlining her academic responsibilities, Blair carefully arranged a list of social functions. Of course, the biggest event of the year was the Spring Formal, but that was still months away. January appeared fairly bleak; though there was one charity gala on the 30th. It was a dinner associated with one of Cyrus's Jewish charities, likely black tie and boring, but something to look forward to nonetheless. And of course, there was also the Colony Club, an exclusive Upper East Side women's society on Park Avenue. All the most important socialites in Manhattan frequented the establishment, and Blair was to have a trial membership to determine whether or not she was worthy.

When she finished her list, Blair carefully unwrapped a pie she had bought at a bakery downtown. She had had taken to sneaking junk food into the house, so Darota wouldn't notice any missing supplies and become suspicious. She gulped it down quickly, scarcely tasting what passed between her lips. Then she carefully crumbled the tray, wrapped it in a paper towel, and snuck into the kitchen to dispose of it. After painstakingly setting her outfit out for the next day Blair entered the bathroom, turned on the water, and purged. In a way, it was as though she was not only ridding her body of food and excess calories, but also eradicating all the self-doubt and pain as well. While she did it she forced herself to hear Chuck's word's over and over in her head. _I don't want you anymore._

For a moment afterwards she would feel guilty, but than an odd sense of peace would creep over her. She had successfully cleansed her body of all its imperfections and was pure again; she was in control. This had become her routine and her secret weapon against the outside world. It enabled her to physically rid herself of the pain, leaving her free to face society and _him_; as perfect and composed as always.

********************************** ************************************

"You know, I always used to hate going back to school after the holidays," Serena was saying, extraordinarily cheerful considering she hadn't been up before noon in over a month. "But knowing this is the last semester of our senior year is so exciting."

"It is, isn't it?" Blair remarked, quickly catching her friend's enthusiasm. She had thrown on a new, red jacket over her uniform, which emphasized the color of her rosy lips remarkably well. She had also spent an extended amount of time drying and curling her hair so that it flowed elegantly down her back. She wanted to be noticed today.

Kati, Hazel, and Isabel were waiting for them at the stairs, and the group exchanged the usual social niceties and empty compliments. They chatted for a few minutes, shivering against the cold January breeze. Suddenly, Serena elbowed Blair in the ribs, not quite as discreetly as she would have hoped. Glancing over her shoulder, she saw him. He had just gotten out of his limo and was staring across the grounds at her, his expression unreadable. Blair locked eyes with him just long enough to let him know he'd been caught, before turning back to her posse.

"Why is Chuck Bass totally staring at you like that, Blair? I thought you guys weren't a thing anymore?" Isabel questioned.

"Oh, we're not," Blair interjected quickly, adding in her best confident tone, "He just thinks he's in love with me. I guess he's just confused after his father's passing."

"Yeah, that was so sad." Kati added, not sounding at all sincere.

Blair sighed dramatically, aware that Serena was giving her a strange look. "It was sad, but I'm not about to go out with someone just because I feel sorry for them. There are just too many better options out there."

"Oooh," squealed Hazel, "Like that hot mystery guy you hooked up with on New Year's!"

And with that happily out of the way Blair swung open the door and entered the halls of Constance; the girls trailing behind and chattering excitedly about the kiss, and Chuck Bass standing in the cold, staring after her.

**Author's Note: Thanks again for your reviews! I have really enjoyed writing this story (especially in the absence of new episodes) and am happy to hear feedback. Comments and suggestions are always appreciated. Cheers, Cayle**


	6. Try, Try Again

"Ugh, I can't stand that troll already! She's awful!"

Blair and her posse had claimed their usual perch on the steps, and while the others were ruthlessly dissecting the outfits of underclassmen, Blair was venting to Serena about their new English teacher.

"Well it certainly didn't help that you mistook her for a student and told her that her shoes were too outdated," Serena laughed, finding the whole situation incredibly amusing.

"I thought she was in my seat!" Blair defended indignantly, adding, "And it's not my fault she looks like a pimply faced freshman!"

Serena was relieved to see the return of her best friend's fighting spirit, and decided to drag the subject on, just to get a rise out of her. "I don't know B; I thought she was kind of pretty."

Blair made a face. "I suppose if you consider pasty overbearing toads to be attractive."

"Are you really this upset over the essay she gave us? I thought you _liked_ homework!"

"I like getting A's on homework," Blair corrected, "That doesn't mean I want to be burdened with a six-page essay on Chaucer the first day back. Besides, I know her type; she's the young, idealistic, I'm-going-to-break-through-to-the-rich-kids brand of teacher." Blair paused for an angry gulp from her water bottle. "Just you wait, Serena," She warned, "as soon as she sees that she isn't inspiring us with Shakespeare and Hemingway than she is going to take out all her pathetic failings on our grades."

"Wow, B, you have this all figured out." Serena was trying to look serious for her friend's benefit, but the corners of her lips kept twitching. "Of course, I think you might just be angry because she won't let you argue your way out of every missed point on your homework."

"Exactly," Blair fumed, "There is just no reasoning with people like that." Finishing her rant she glanced up, then gasped.

"What is it?" Serena questioned, looking overly concerned.

Blair checked to make sure the other girls were still too busy making fun of the underclassmen to notice, and then told Serena in a conspiratorial whisper, "It's _Chuck_. He keeps staring at me."

Serena followed her gaze across the courtyard, just in time to see Chuck shuffle in the opposite direction.

"He's just been _lurking_ and _staring_ all day." Blair complained, as if she was being stalked by Bigfoot rather than an old classmate.

"You know Chuck," Serena reassured, "He probably just wants to say he is sorry and doesn't know how."

Blair snorted, "Fat chance."

Before the conversation could continue, Blair became aware of another familiar shadow lingering nearby. "What do you want, Humphrey?" She snapped irritably.

"I, uh…was kind of hoping I could speak to Serena." He mumbled, as awkward as ever.

"She's sitting right here, why don't you ask her yourself?" Blair grumbled, eying him sharply.

"Well, um, you asked me what I was doing… so I told you I was asking her; even though she's…well, obviously here." He finished lamely, examining the ground.

Blair rolled her eyes, but Serena smiled warmly. There was always something she found incredibly endearing about Dan's discomfort in certain social settings. "Sure, Dan, no problem."

The pair strolled away, leaving Blair and her gossiping band of minions to haunt to steps.

"So, what's gotten in to her?" Dan asked, feeling more comfortable starting the conversation on a less personal note.

"Oh, you mean she was acting more abrupt than normal?" Serena joked, happy that Dan seemed to understand her friendship with Blair. "Actually, she really doesn't like the new English teacher, and she had a fight with Chuck."

Dan laughed nervously. "Well, I thought I saw him lurking by the bushes over there, maybe he's waiting to apologize."

Serena turned to face him with an affectionate smile, her eyes searching his. "That's just what I told her."

"Well, great minds think alike." Dan beamed, glancing away again. "I heard you broke up with Aaron."

"Yeah I did," Serena admitted, crossing her arms self-consciously. "Things got kind of crazy on New Years, and one thing led to another."

Dan raised an eyebrow, looking surprised.

Instantly reading his expression Serena quickly spouted an explanation, "No, it's not like I cheated, or did anything crazy! It's just…I realized things weren't _right_, somehow.

Dan nodded, trying very hard not to look too relieved. "I understand".

"Is that what you wanted to talk to me about?" Serena asked, gazing at him shyly.

"Well, um…" Dan stuttered, fidgeting even more than normal. "Sort of…I mean that and the situation with our parents. Is it me or have things gotten really weird between them?"

The bell had rung and the students were beginning to drift off to their respective classrooms. Out of the corner of her eye Serena could see Blair waiting near the door in her blinding red jacket, hands on hips.

"My mom has been acting really strange, but she won't tell me why. Maybe they had a fight?" She informed Dan, regretting they hadn't talked sooner.

Dan nodded pensively. "I guess that's what happened. Look, Serena, I know you have to go to class now…I see Blair waiting for you. I just hope later we, you know, get a chance to talk. I feel like with so much happening we just-"

"-never finished saying everything we wanted to say." Serena completed his sentence. They both stood looking wistfully at one another for a few moments before Serena hurried to join Blair, who was stamping impatiently in the corner.

*************************************** ****************************

Blair was relieved that her day had improved after English, and even though she found Chuck's behavior disconcerting, she wasn't about to let it ruin her afternoon. Apparently, she wasn't the only one with a stalker, because Humphrey had cornered Serena again after their last class, and they were now talking earnestly in the hall. Blair had wandered out to the courtyard to collect her thoughts under the guise of giving the constantly up-and-down duo some privacy. Secretly, she was relieved to have a moment alone to collect her thoughts.

The courtyard was empty except for a small band of sophomore girls. As Blair moved closer she could catch wisps of their conversation. "Did you see Chuck Bass was back at school?" "I heard after his father died he went crazy!" "My dad says he's an alcoholic!"

Blair narrowed her eyes angrily, zeroing in on her prey. She coughed to get their attention. "Don't you pathetic wannabe's have anything better to do than gossip about people with lives more interesting than your own? Show some respect!" The sophomores looked terrified and scattered, leaving Blair alone in the courtyard.

"Hey Blair, do you have a minute?"

It was Nate, looking as ravishing as ever. Blair studied him for a moment, finding it hard to believe that this was the boy she had convinced herself she was destined to marry since kindergarten. Staring at him now, it was hard for her to imagine ever having such feelings for him. Not that he wasn't dreadfully attractive; but it had always been a joke to think they were intended for one another.

Nate noticed Blair scrutinizing him and shifted uncomfortably. "Um, Blair?"

"Yes, Nate?" She asked brightly, snapping out of her trance.

"Could I talk to you for a minute?"

He was looking at her strangely, and Blair sensed the direction things were going. "Actually, I have a very busy schedule for today, and several important after-school obligations. I was just waiting for Serena-"

"It won't take long," Nate interrupted firmly, "It's about Chuck."

Blair groaned audibly.

"I know the two of you didn't exactly part amicably and he said some pretty hateful things to you on New Years…" He began gingerly.

"That would be the understatement of the century." Blair retorted, her eyes burning angrily. "In fact I'd really rather not talk about it at all."

"He's in trouble, Blair," Nate pleaded, "We really need to do everything in our power to help him."

"Trust me Nate," said Blair tersely, "I've done absolutely everything I could think have-and he's made it very clear that he desires nothing to do with me. So the way I see it, we just need to let little Chuck grow up on his own. That's what he wants."

Nate set his jaw. This was going to be even more difficult than he had imagined. "I know he hurt you, but he really needs his friends right now."

"What are you going to do Nate? Handcuff him to the bed and spoon feed him chicken soup?" Blair was growing exasperated and splotches of bright pink were creeping across her cheeks. "I've begged and reasoned and pleaded with him. Nothing has done any good. In fact, it probably made it worse."

Nate began pacing back and forth; running his fingers through his long hair. _He always does that_, Blair thought with annoyance. "I know we can't force him to do anything," Nate was saying, "But he just needs to know his friends are there for him. We can't just give up. You love him, so you have to keep trying."

Blair cringed visibly at the mention of the "L" word. "What did you say?" She asked delicately.

"I said you have to keep trying."

"Before that"

"I said you love him," Nate answered, looking confused.

"And exactly who told you that?" Blair demanded, mentally cursing Gossip Girl for the thousandth time.

"No one told me," Nate replied defensively. "It's not some juicy hearsay I read on Gossip Girl. It's just _obvious_, that's all.

"Fine," Blair sighed, weakening. "What exactly is it you're planning on doing?"

"Well," Nate began slowly, "His father's will reading is next week, and until then his uncle is forcing him to stay home and behave."

"You talked to his uncle?" Blair asked skeptically. "Wow, Nathanial Archibald being proactive. I am truly impressed."

Nate grinned. "Yeah, according to Uncle Jack, Chuck has been mostly sober for a record 24 hours, so now might be the golden window of opportunity."

Blair nodded. "Agreed, that is as long as you do the talking. If he insults me one more time we just might come to blows."

"I like your spirit." Nate smiled down at her fondly.

"Hey guys, what did I miss?" Serena breezed throw the doorway, completely glowing.

"Did Humphrey finally propose?" Blair asked sarcastically, noticing the dreamy look in her friend's eye.

"I was just telling Blair our plan to go talk to Chuck." Nate interjected quickly.

"_Our _plan?" Blair asked, shooting Serena a traitorous look. "So you two have been scheming all along."

"Well, we were going to all confront him the other night, but someone jumped the gun before I had a chance to arrive." Nate reminded her gently.

"Yeah, with wasted Chuck the complexity of timing is everything". Blair shot back scornfully.

"Don't worry B," said Serena merrily. "Just think of it as a sort of reunion."

"Reunion?"

"Of the non-judging breakfast club, remember?"

Blair rolled her eyes. "Thanks for reminding me." It was true that a similar approach had saved Serena from the wrath of Georgie, but Blair highly doubted that it could save Chuck from himself.

***************************** ****************************************

Uncle Jack had been filling Chuck in on some minor details of the upcoming will reading when the doorbell rang. Jack sprang to answer it, and Chuck was relieved in the sudden break in conversation so he could take a quick gulp from his flask. He hadn't been this sober in weeks.

Chuck realized his Uncle seemed to have good intentions, but he hadn't been forced home after school since…well, never. Whatever Jack's motives, he certainly didn't appreciate being blackmailed into good behavior under threat of his inheritance.

"Charles, your friend's are here to see you." Jack's voice sounded unusually cheerful as he reentered the room followed by Nate, Serena, and trailing behind…Blair. Chuck instantly looked at the floor.

"I'll just be going up to the study to finish a few business matters," Jack said briskly, nodding at the group of newcomers as he left the room.

An uncomfortable silence ensued during which Chuck continued to examine his pant leg, the floor, and his shoes-anything but facing them.

"Look, Chuck," Nate started in awkwardly, "I know you act like you want to deal with this alone, and I know it's really hard, but we want to be here for you." When Chuck didn't respond Nate continued, finding confidence as he went. "We've been friends for a really long time, and you've always been there for us. You offered to help my family after everything my father did, even when we were complete social outcasts."

"And in spite of everything you helped me to get rid of Georgina. During that whole traumatic time I knew I could count on you." Serena added.

They waited momentarily for Blair to contribute her piece, but realizing this was a bad idea, Nate continued undaunted. "Look man, none of us can change what happened, but you don't have to go through this alone."

There was another long, drawn out moment of silence during which shreds of Uncle Jack's intense business call could be heard wafting down he stairs. Finally Chuck spoke. "I'll tell you what," He said slowly, looking only at Nathanial. "You get me out of here, get me somewhere with a drink, and I'll talk all you want."


	7. Blackout

**Disclaimer I: I don't own anything related to Gossip Girl.**

**Disclaimer II: One thing that I really love about Blair and Chuck is that despite their extravagant lives and sometimes embellished situations on Gossip Girl, they both struggle with very real issues. I have, and will continue to make Blair's eating disorder a large part of this story. However, I just want to be clear that while attempting to explore some of the complexities of bulimia I am NOT trying to romanticize it. Eating disorders are extremely serious, not glamorous, and certainly not a good way to get someone's attention. My best friend in high school suffered from anorexia/bulimia, and while thankfully she is now in college and getting healthier, she very nearly died. So please, if any of you readers have these tendencies, seek help. **

********************************* ***********************************

They made it as far as the downstairs bar before Chuck decided his quest for liquor could wait no longer. Blair was careful to sit on the barstool farthest from Chuck, with Serena and Nate between them. From that vantage point she observed him order an extraordinary amount of alcohol with scarcely more than a grunt. Watching him take a long gulp, she mused that he would probably have to develop a more diverse skill set if he was going to run the Bass Empire.

"Something for you miss?" Blair startled at the question from the bartender. He must be new, as she had never seen him here before. He was rather handsome in a rugged sense, with curly brown hair and sleeves rolled up to reveal well-muscled arms. He was appraising her with a familiar glint in his eye. "I can get you anything you want", he added shyly.

Blair was aware that everyone had turned to stare at her, and Chuck was absolutely seething. She found this both infuriating and slightly flattering; maybe making him jealous wasn't such a bad plan after all. Ordering a Cosmopolitan, Blair tactfully avoided her initial reaction to flirt. She was here to help after all, not make things worse. Once the bartender had turned his back on them to focus on making the drinks, Chuck relaxed visibly. It was still early on a weeknight, and they had the bar to themselves.

Blair studied her nails, vaguely aware of Nate making small talk with Chuck, who surprisingly responded with a mature, civil answers.

"So, how's Uncle Jack treating you?" Nate asked, concerned.

Chuck smirked, though not maliciously. "Well, you seem to talk to him just as much as I do these days." He paused for another long swig of his drink, "But other than thinking he can blackmail me into good behavior, I suppose things are going well enough."

"That's great," Nate nodded, taking on the sympathetic air of a guidance counselor talking to his patient. "He seems like a really decent guy."

"Time will tell," Chuck shrugged, "I'm still pretty unclear when it comes to his motives, and I'm not completely convinced that he simply appeared with my well-being in mind."

"Well, he's family; I'm sure he cares about you." Nate encouraged, glancing at Serena, who nodded in agreement.

"I wouldn't be so certain," Chuck mused bitterly, "I just find it incredibly ironic that my whole life I've scarcely ever seen the guy, yet the second my father is dead and there's a will involved he materializes out of thin air to play the role of bereaved brother and supportive Uncle."

"I know its hard knowing who to trust," Nate stated, as if addressing his patient on the couch, "But we're here for you."

"I appreciate it, Nathanial, I really do." Chuck said, looking quite amused. He was growing more responsive with each sip, and the liquor appeared to be reviving him like water saving a wilting plant.

After a brief pause the two friends launched into a more detailed debate over Uncle Jack's intentions, and Blair was surprised to see that her drink was nearly empty. She was feeling extremely disoriented and weak. Fearing the dizziness would unbalance her she focused on the ring of moisture her glass had left on the smooth wood. _Just keep breathing, you're fine._ She instructed herself firmly. There was an odd ringing in her ears and she felt pressure building inside her head. Out of the periphery of her blurred vision she was vaguely aware of Serena, who had turned to face the conversation, shooting her furtive glances over her shoulder.

Nate's jacket pocket, which had been ringing merrily all afternoon, started up again. This time, instead of simply silencing it, he glanced at the screen. "Sorry, guys, I should probably take this. It's Vanessa; she's called like five times so it must be important."

As Nate exited, Blair pressed her forehead to the cool surface of the bar, only vaguely aware of his departure. _You're fine, you're fine, you're fine_. She inwardly chanted to herself. "Blair, are you okay?" It was Serena, hovering over her now, her voice full of concern. "You look really pale." She maternally stretched out a graceful arm and rested the back of her hand on Blair's cheek.

Blair squeezed her eyes shut, hugging her body tightly in order to maintain equilibrium. "Blair, can you talk to me?" Serena sounded panicky now. Opening her eyes slightly, Blair became aware another figure had also risen from his seat and was standing nearby, . _Oh no, Chuck is here_, she thought desperately. She would not let him see her like this; she would never give him the satisfaction.

She forced herself upright, mumbling in Serena's direction, "yeah I'm fine…just need to go to the bathroom." But as she tried to gracefully stand and leave the room her knees buckled and she fell.

"Oh my God, Blair!" Serena cried, but thankfully Chuck reacted quickly, rushing to catch her before she hit the ground.

He hesitated a moment, unsure whether to help her lie back on the floor or pick her up entirely. Instead he sat on the floor, holding her upright against his torso while her uncooperative legs curled beneath her. Everything was a nauseating blur, and she felt herself slipping in and out of consciousness. Serena's voice sounded as if it was coming from another planet. "Blair can you hear me?" Then, addressing Chuck, "Oh my God, what's wrong with her?"

Chuck didn't respond, just whispered with his raspy voice very close to her ear. "Blair, can you hear me?" It was the first time he had spoken to her all night, she realized with a pang of irony. The bartender had joined them now, and was asking about an ambulance. Serena was on the verge of hysterical tears and Chuck's hands were shaking in spite of his firm grip. No way was she going to make this more of a scene than it already was.

She kept her eyes closed as through gritted teeth she insisted. "No ambulance, someone just please get me out of here."

"Serena, go find Nathanial," Chuck commanded, taking control of the situation. "I'll take Blair upstairs."

"Oh, um, okay," Serena paused, looking torn over whether or not to leave the two of them alone together. Deciding she had no choice, she quickly rushed to the door in search of Nate, giving them a concerned glance as she left.

"No! I can walk!" Blair insisted as Chuck swung her into his arms and made for the elevator. She was so mortified and furious with herself for letting this happen that she simply wished the floor would open up and swallow her. Sill, even in the face of their recent, catastrophic argument, Blair had to admit she felt incredibly safe with Chuck. Gripping his neck tightly, she buried her face in his shoulder, unable to help herself. He still smelled good.

When the elevator doors closed and they were alone he bent over her, so that his lips were practically touching her cheek. "Blair, you're going to be okay." He whispered, more to himself than to her.

The ride seemed very brief, and before she knew it they were back in the penthouse. Chuck breezed up the stairs, ignoring his uncle's greeting and closed the door to his room.

He held her for a moment longer before carefully depositing her on the bed. He stood over her, clenching his fists. "Blair, what's wrong?" He asked his voice low and trembling with anger. "Did that…_bastard_ put something in your drink?"

Blair remembered the bartender and shook her head, rubbing her eyelids in an attempt to banish the stars still dancing across her vision. She knew in the back of her mind this episode had been brought on by her… "habit". It certainly wasn't the first time she'd felt dizzy, but she had _never_ passed out before. She tried to catalog the things she had eaten today, but her mind turned up a blank. No wonder.

"No, Chuck, it wasn't like that," she said as convincingly as possible. The last thing everyone needed was for Chuck to run downstairs and get in a fistfight. "I just…" Her voice trailed off as her mind worked frantically to think of an excuse. "I've just had a really bad cold, and didn't drink enough water today. I shouldn't have had the cocktail."

He looked down at her skeptically, some of the rage dissipating. "You don't sound sick."

"Well, I took quite a few cold meds after class; it probably mixed wrong with the alcohol." She added, eager to expand her list of probable causes.

Chuck sighed and slumped down on the bed next to her, sitting very close. He leaned over her, his dark eyes shining with concern. "You really scared me, you know." He said quietly, reaching down to tenderly brush a stray strand of hair out of her face.

Blair felt herself shiver with the pleasure of his close proximity, but also tense at the same time. Once again she was in the presence of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. What was his deal? One moment he was completely berating her for trying to help and saying the most horrible things, and suddenly he was _worried_ because she'd gotten a little dizzy. She had promised herself that in Chuck's best interest she would arrive waving the white flag, and try not to bitterly recall any of the gruesome details of their last fight. But this really was too confusing. "What do you care?" She snapped, feeling a fresh surge of energy course through her. "I was, after all, just a conquest."

She saw a look of pain flicker across Chuck's face, and he withdrew his hand as though she'd burned him. "You know that's not true." He said it so quietly it was barely audible, and for a second she thought she'd imagined it. But before she had a chance to reflect on this remark further, Nate and Serena burst through the door.

Serena's makeup was smudged and they both looked breathless. "Is everything okay?" Serena gasped, looking uncertainly between Blair and Chuck. Things looked every bit as awkward as she had feared, though they were sitting awfully close together…

"Oh, I'm totally fine," Blair said in the cheeriest tone she could muster, forcing herself into a sitting position. "I'm sorry I scared you, I was just telling Bass I probably shouldn't have mixed those cold meds with the alcohol."

Serena looked confused, glancing between her friend's pale face and Chuck, who looked shaken. "Are you sure? Maybe you should still go to the hospital. I mean, you seemed pretty out of it…you had to be carried back upstairs."

"Well, you know Bass, any excuse to get his hands on anything female." Blair blew her off, eager to get home and put this whole, excruciating experience behind her.

Serena sat down next to her and hugged her so tightly she felt as though she might pass out again from lack of oxygen.

Chuck, who was still sitting nearby, seemed to notice and said playfully, with some of his old bravado returning, "Give her some air sis, or she might faint again."

Blair glowered at him over Serena's shoulder, but his eyes were filled with affectionate mirth and she immediately felt some of the tense atmosphere dissipate. Serena broke the hug and cupped Blair's face in her hands, so close their noses were almost touching.

"Are you sure you're okay? You really scared the sh*t out of us!"

Nate was standing; shoulders slumped in relief and a broad grin on his face. Chuck smiled too, gently poking fun at the girls. "You know sis, there's nothing like a near death experience to bring out your true feelings, so if you want to make out with Waldorf, don't let us stop you."

Serena let go of Blair and promptly clobbered Chuck with a pillow.

"Watch out sis!" He cried, raising his arms to defend himself, "all this excitement around Waldorf will cause her to-"

"Oh SHUT UP!" yelled Blair, grabbing another pillow and smacking him as hard as she could.

Chuck smirked. "Ladies, I can't pretend it isn't a fantasy of mine to be caught in a pillow fight between two beautiful women, but please, watch the Rolex."

"A fantasy?" Blair snapped, hitting him again. "As it is I probably shouldn't-" SMACK "-even be handling" SMACK "any of your linens" SMACK "without a Hazmat suit" SMACK "and a ten foot pole" SMACK "after all the nasty hos you bring over!" SMACK, SMACK

He tackled her, knocking her back onto the bed. She screamed, laughing uncontrollably. "Serena! Serena HELP!"

Serena obeyed, leaping on Chuck's back and pummeling him with the pillow.

"Nathanial, a little help?" Chuck gasped in between the girls' hysterical shrieks.

"No way man, you're on your own, I wouldn't mess with these two." Nate couldn't suppress the huge smile creeping across his face; how long had it been since he'd actually seen Chuck laugh?

When it was all over they flopped on the bed in a tangle of limbs, breathing heavily. Maybe it was all the laughter that had calmed her, because she didn't even mind that she was lying so close to Chuck; their legs entwined.

After a few minutes, Nate broke the silence. "Blair, are you sure you're okay?"

"Ugh, for the hundredth time, " Blair groaned, "I'm _fine_. Other than the fact that this is SO embarrassing and you will probably never let me live it down."

"You're just upset you passed out in front of the hot bartender," Serena teased, slapping her friend playfully on the shoulder.

Chuck scowled noticeably, but Nate simply chuckled, chiming in. "Well, you don't have to worry with us, we aren't about to leak it to Gossip Girl. We're the-"

"-non-judging breakfast club. I know." Blair finished, rolling her eyes. "Am I ever sorry I made that one up! Sometimes having such a sharp wit can be a burden…"

They joked around for several more minutes before Blair finally got up to leave under the pretense of a forgotten obligation to have dinner with Eleanor. She was happy that the mood had significantly lightened, but she still felt an overwhelming humiliated, and wanted a moment alone to sort out what had happened during her exchange with Chuck. "I'll go with you," Serena said quickly, jumping up to grab her coat.

Chuck showed them to the door, looking much more spirited than he had in weeks. _I suppose if nothing else my hugely disgraceful moment shifted some of the attention off of him for once,_ Blair thought bleakly as she followed Serena out.

"It was really nice all of us getting together again, finally," Serena said sincerely, smiling warmly at her former step-brother. "I hope this won't be the last time."

Chuck smirked at them, "Any time, though the next occasion the three of you decide to stage an intervention, I suggest you make sure Waldorf gets some adequate fluids first." He winked at Blair, and closed the door.

That Basshole.

************************************ ***********************************

**Author's note: In this chapter, I wanted to show that unfortunately, Blair's eating disorder is getting more serious, but also to lighten the mood a bit. Chuck too is far from over his problems, but is beginning to realize that he can't completely shut out his friends. I hope you like it. Finally (since I enjoy them so much) I am going to start responding more personally to reviews, beginning with those from the last chapter. **

AllyO2 : Thanks, I'm really glad you are enjoying it!

JaneA0202 : Chuck still has a lot to deal with, so he probably won't be normal for quite some time, especially with increasing pressures that come from Uncle Jack and his father's will. However, even though he still has many struggles ahead, he will also began to gradually accept his friends back into his life.

riclynshea : I really love that Blair is a very strong character, and I agree with you- I think that in future episodes she will put on a brave face to deal with the situations at hand. I think she is interesting, because though she is strong, she is also vulnerable ( the eating disorder), though few people ever see this side of her.

Catheryne and 3chuckandblair3: I also like seeing everyone come together, and hope they do more of that in upcoming episodes, the group dynamic and interaction is great.

samitiny : It will be a slow process, because Blair is still really hurt and of course, Chuck is scared about entering in to any kind of commitment. But in spite of obstacles I imagine things will begin coming together for them… J

Blebo92 : I am glad you like the Dan/Serena aspect. I will be sure to include more of it…they are cute together and anything other than Aaron (shudder)!

oc-journey06 : Chuck will begin opening up more…with an occasional relapse.

bluestriker666 and xxktnxx : Thank you so much for your comments!

**Thanks again and feel free to share any questions, suggestions, or feedback. Cheers, Cayle**


	8. Unexpected

_**I own absolutely nothing related to the Gossip Girl series.**_

"If you don't watch where you're walking you'll trip," said Blair testily as the girls exited a cab outside Blair's home. Serena had been scrutinizing her mercilessly the entire way back from the Palace Hotel, and it was making Blair very uncomfortable. No matter how many times she tried to change the subject, Serena kept bringing up her "episode" at the bar. Not even Blair's foolproof backup of changing the subject to Serena's relationship with Dan could throw her best friend off the case; she was like a bloodhound.

_"_Blair_, you passed out." _Serena emphasized, following her closely through the door.

"So what?" Blair snapped irritably. "I passed out once because I was tired! How many times have I seen you passed out in a pile of your own puke?"

"This has nothing to do with drinking Blair!" Serena argued, frustrated that any criticism of Blair's habits always seemed to bring up the topic of her wild past.

"Exactly," Blair replied her tone clipped and businesslike. "This happened because I am sick, exhausted, and stressed. I am going to drink some water, go to bed early, and the problem is solved. So we can stop discussing it any time."

Before Serena had time to reply, Darota bustled into the room, looking flustered. "Miss Blair," she wailed, "I get a phone call from Mister Chuck!" She said his name almost reverently. "He want to know if you are home and if you are okay? He says you are sick."

"Oh for heaven's sakes!" Blair exclaimed, causing Darota to flinch. She knew that tone all too well. "Tell him I'm fine except for whatever transmittable disease I picked up in his bed."

Darota's eyes widened in shock. "Miss Blair!" She gasped reproachfully, "You were in the bed of Mr. Chuck?"

Blair realized her mistake. "No! I mean yes, but-" she spluttered angrily, and not even having the patience to explain simply let out a disgusted sigh and stormed up the stairs.

Serena looked apologetically at Darota, who was still standing with her mouth hanging open. "She's fine," Serena assured her with a nervous smile. "She's just, you know, being Blair."

Darota nodded, a confused expression still written across her face.

Serena followed Blair up the stairs and opened the door to her room with an authoritative air. Blair was sprawled across the bed, hiding her face in her arms. "I really don't want to talk about it Serena," she whined.

"Fine," Serena huffed, sounding like an exasperated mother trying to administer discipline. "We don't have to talk, you can just listen. I know you passed out because you've been throwing up again, and probably not eating enough. I'm really worried about you Blair. You need to get help."

Blair sat upright, frowning indignantly. "Serena, it's not true! I told you I've been sick, and tired, and stressed about Chuck. I took too many cold meds and had a cocktail, obviously a bad combination, but I'm not lying to you!"

Serena looked at her skeptically. "Blair I know you, I saw the evidence when I got back from Buenos Aires."

"So, just because you saw some empty ice cream cartons in my room now you are accusing me? Why can't you just believe the truth?" Blair asked shrilly. She wasn't sure what was causing her to lie so blatantly to her best friend, and she felt a sharp stab of regret. Still, there was something inside of her that was desperately fearful; fearful of being caught and forced to stop. It was that part of her she couldn't control that was now speaking to Serena.

"No, B, I'm not accusing you of anything," Serena reasoned gently. "But it's not just the ice cream, you've lost weight. And then what happened today…"

"I told you," Blair said slowly, annunciating every word as though she was talking to someone very slow, "I have been sick, ever since Christmas. I got a cold on the plane that I've had a hard time shaking, and all this business with Chuck hasn't helped. That doesn't mean I'm sticking my finger down my throat."

Serena sighed. Obviously, they had reached a stalemate and her stubborn best friend was simply not going to listen to her. "Fine, Blair," she said, this time with a hint of exasperation. "You say you have a cold, I think you're trying to cover up your eating disorder. Maybe I am an awful, nosy friend for worrying about you, but it was a problem before, and I don't think it is impossible to believe it might flare up again after all the stress you've been under lately."

Blair studied her best friend, feeling guilty. Serena was just trying to help, and Blair had to admit that she would be just as intrusive had the situation been reversed. "I'm sorry S," she sighed. "I know you just want what's best for me." Adding, "but it is just a cold."

"Fine. I'll let it go for now, but if it ever happens again I'm going straight to Eleanor." Serena said firmly.

Blair narrowed her eyes. "You wouldn't."

"I would," Serena assured her. "I'll tell everyone; Gossip Girl…even Chuck, if I thought it would help you."

"My past issues are certainly NOT to be shared with Chuck Bass," Blair ordered, looking murderous.

"Well, then you'd better behave yourself." Serena said smugly. "You know, he did seem pretty worried about you."

Blair snorted, "That's only because he was concerned that if I keeled over and died on his watch Uncle Jack might get suspicious and bar him from his inheritance."

Serena laughed heartily. "B, you know that isn't true. Chuck really cares about you."

"Yes, you're right Serena," Blair mocked, her temper flaring. "He has a great way of showing it, like completely berating me in public."

"Say what you will Blair, I can tell."

Blair tossed her chocolate brown curls. "It doesn't really matter how he feels because I am _not_ making that mistake again."

_We'll see,_ thought Serena, though she quickly changed the subject to avoid incurring her friend's wrath. "At any rate, he seemed a lot happier today. I think we finally got through to him a little."

"I think we did too." Blair concurred. In spite of her humiliation, she deemed the afternoon a success. The four of them had been laughing and joking just like old times, and she was incredibly relieved that Chuck seemed to willing to open up to them a bit more. No matter what he had done to her, the thought of him suffering alone was unbearable. Even if he didn't love her, even if he had meant all the hateful things he said, she still just wanted him to be happy.

"I'm really proud of you for coming with us," Serena said hesitantly, as if reading her mind. "I know it couldn't have been easy."

"No," Blair answered honestly. "But Chuck really needs his friends right now, and I'm going to be there for him no matter what."

"That's really mature of you B," Serena responded. "And I'm sure that when he finally gets things together he'll realize what a huge mistake he made."

Blair shook her head sadly. "I don't want to worry about that now. It's not meant to be. Like you said about you and Dan, it's not our time."

At the mention of Dan's name a funny look spread across Serena's face.

Noticing her reaction, Blair asked sharply, "What? Don't tell me that you're back with Humphrey?"

Serena blushed. "No, we're not back together, but we have been talking a lot more. We are just going to try to spend more time together as friends, and then see what happens." She waited for a moment, looking quizzically at Blair. "What, no quick-witted criticisms? Wake up B, this is your cue to roll your eyes and tell me it's stupid to try this again."

Blair laughed. "I don't think it's stupid."

"But you just said yourself that you aren't willing to give Chuck another chance, yet you actually think, after all the drama between Dan and I, that this is a good idea?" Serena asked, incredulous.

"Serena," Blair replied, adopting a tone of mock severity. "I was talking about Chuck.

The situations are not comparable. Chuck is smarmy, soulless, and incapable of any human feeling accept a severe thirst for beverages of an alcoholic persuasion. Humphrey may be socially awkward and annoying, but I think he is a decent guy and I want you to be happy."

Serena smiled. "Thanks, B, that really means a lot to me." She then added cautiously, "So you won't mind if I take off? I actually told Dan I'd meet him when we finished at Chuck's."

"No problem, S. What spectacularly unimaginative date is Humphrey sweeping you off on this time?"

Serena cringed, waiting for Blair's haughty response. "We're actually meeting at an art café in Brooklyn."

Blair rolled her eyes, "Sounds fabulous, maybe he'll even bring his lame nineties dad along so you can all play board games together."

"You're always welcome to join us," Serena smiled, kissing Blair on the cheek and breezing out the door. "See you tomorrow."

"Bye," Blair called, happy to be alone with her thoughts once again.

******************************* ***************************************

It had been a week since the intervention of the "non-judging Breakfast Club" and Blair's embarrassing incident at the Palace Hotel. In some ways, things seemed to have gotten more difficult. The new English teacher, Ms. Carr, was proving to be every bit as troublesome as Blair had feared, and she felt as though she were drowning in homework. Serena had also been watching her like a hawk, which forced Blair to choke down a full meal during lunch in order to alleviate suspicion. She found this change to her routine extremely unpleasant; she wasn't used to eating normal meals and had been feeling queasy and irritable. When she could, she tried to purge at school, but the risk of being caught was great and it was very hard to accomplish.

On a positive note, Chuck seemed to be improving rapidly. Blair had mostly been avoiding him for the time being. She still didn't quite know what to make of their last several encounters, and his moods seemed to shift with the breeze. She had decided that it was better for both of them to keep their distance, as so often they seemed to bring out the worst in each other. Still, their last visit had significantly eased the tension, and now when she caught him staring at her she would wave, or offer a cordial greeting. And though she felt a pang of jealousy, Blair was happy to observe that he was spending a lot of time with Nate, they were almost inseparable again.

The two friends not only socialized during lunch, but also hung out after school. Thus, it was a surprise one day after her last period class when Nate came charging down the hallway alone. "Blair!" He called, looking relieved, "I'm so glad you're still here."

Blair narrowed her eyes, taking in his disheveled appearance. "What's going on? Where's Chuck?"

Nate leaned back against the wall, trying to recapture his breath. "I don't know! We were planning on ditching our last period class. His father's will reading is today, and I thought it would help keep his mind off of it if we just…you know, did something fun. We were supposed to meet up outside, but he never showed. I've been running all over town trying to find him. I figured I would come back to school and see of you have any idea where he might be hiding."

"You're telling me, you _lost _Chuck?" Blair griped, "Seriously Nathanial, I thought you had it under control."

He looked at her pleadingly, his long hair flopping over his eyes. "Blair, it's _Chuck_, there's only so much control you can have. I thought everything was okay, and obviously, it's not."

"Fine," Blair answered tersely, "Chuck has only two passions in life: booze and meaningless, unemotional sexcapades involving anything with breasts. How hard can it be to find him? I'm sure he's just lurking in a dark corner somewhere, caressing whatever just brought him his drink"

Though she said the last portion of the sentence very quickly, Nate could still detect the bitterness in her voice. He began rattling off a list of all the places he's searched, which turned out to be quite an impressive collection of dive bars and strip clubs.

"Wow, Archibald, you did move fast," Blair commented, mentally running through her own list of Chuck-worthy locations. Secretly, she was beginning to panic. There were only a few hours left until the will reading, and Chuck could be anywhere in Manhattan. Scratch that, he could be on a plane back to Bangkok.

"Seriously, Blair, what are we going to do?" Nate asked, voicing her concerns. "What happens if we can't find him in time?"

Blair did her best to look confident, adopting her most business-like tone. "Don't worry, we'll find him. I have a couple of ideas.."

"Well, well, this is almost too touching for words."

Both Blair and Nate spun around and simultaneously exclaimed with relief, "Chuck!"

His hair was disheveled, and his blazer was swung over his shoulder in a cavalier manner. He was wearing his trademark smirk, and taking slow, steady drags from a rolled cigarillo.

Taking in his appearance, Blair's eyes widened. "Chuck what are you doing?!" She raced forward and confiscated his herbal cigarette. She bent over and extinguished it on the floor before tossing it into a nearby trash barrel. Nate helped by kicking away the ashes with his foot.

"I was enjoying that." Chuck stated, watching them bustle to clean up the mess, his voice sounding more amused than angry.

"Are you just desperate to get into more trouble, or are you really this stupid?" Blair snapped, peering into the waste bin to make sure the evidence was properly buried.

Chuck appraised her, running his eyes up and down her body until she glanced away uncomfortably. "You're looking pretty good Waldorf, I haven't seen you since last week when we were in my bed…playing rough."

He said the last bit in a raised voice, smirking as usual. Blair was horrified as several of the students still trickling through the halls turned to stare.

"Look, man, we were worried about you." To Blair's relief Nate intervened, speaking kindly yet firmly to his best friend. "Where did you go?"

"Sorry, Nathanial," Chuck sighed. "You see, I decided to ditch _all _of my classes today. After all, you only get to hear your father's dying wishes once." He laughed bitterly. "So I decided to get a drink after lunch, and lost track of time. Sorry, but I'm here now, ready for the fun to begin. Where shall we go? A strip club? Maybe Waldorf can do a dance for us, that is, if she doesn't faint first."

Blair groaned. Not only was he being absolutely impossible, but he was slurring his words, his eyes unfocused. "Nate, he's completely drunk, AND likely baked! What are we going to do?"

"Yes, what are we going to do with poor Chuck, he's such a mess." Chuck chimed in.

"I don't know," Nate's face was pale, "He can't go to the will reading like this."

"I'm right here, you know," Chuck slurred, putting his arms around both of their shoulders. "Ready for some great bonding time."

Blair wrinkled her nose. He smelled like alcohol, marijuana, and cheap perfume. "Ugh, he could really use a bath!" She grumbled to Nate, who was looking extremely distressed.

Chuck smiled down at her. "Any time you want to bath me Waldorf, be my guest."

Blair glared at him. "What is _wrong_ with you?" Then, directed at Nate, "Let's take him to my place. Eleanor and Cyrus are out of town."

"Okay," Nate replied uncertainly, " I don't know what you are going to do with him there, it's hopeless."

"Yes Waldorf," said Chuck, surprisingly still retaining enough coordination to wink at her, "What are you going to do with me there?"

Blair groaned. Sometimes she felt like the only sane person left on the planet.

************************************************************ ***********

Arriving at Blair's doorstep, dragging a half-lucid Chuck, Nate and Blair were greeted by Darota. She simply gaped at them for a minute, her eyes wide with shock.

"Don't just stand there Darota!" Blair quipped, "help us get Chuck upstairs. He only has a few hours before his father's will reading and he smells like he's been living with a heard of yaks on Mount Everest."

'Yes Ms. Blair!" Darota accepted quickly, opening the door for them to enter.

Between the three of them, they managed to haul Chuck up the stairs and into Blair's bathroom. Darota scurried off to make a strong pot of coffee, at Blair's request. Chuck slumped against the wall, humming to himself. Unlike previous occasions, he wasn't remotely confrontational or angry. In fact, he seemed to find the entire situation hysterical. Blair turned on the hot water, filling the room with steam, and then set to unbuttoning his shirt.

"I knew you just wanted to get me back here to undress me," he said, smiling at her deviously.

She chose to ignore him, and instead barked at Nate, "take off his shoes, please."

Chuck's brow furrowed. "Not quite what I had in mind, but I suppose Nate can watch if he wants to."

"Oh, shut up!" Blair muttered, fumbling with the buttons and feeling her cheeks burn.

"Nathanial," said Chuck, addressing his best friend. "I'm thirsty. Could you get me a glass of water with some ice."

"Uh, okay," responded Nate. He had just finished removing Chuck's shoes and couldn't help but wrinkle his nose. "By the way, when was the last time you changed your socks?"

Chuck looked thoughtful. "That's interesting…I don't remember."

_Great, _thought Blair as Nate exited in search of water. _He's even more loopy than I feared. _

"Blair."

She had been kneeling beside him, still unbuttoning his shirt, and looked up in surprise at the sound of her name.

"Do you remember the limo?" He asked, slurring his words.

She rolled her eyes. "It's kind of hard not to, Chuck."

He was still staring intently at her, his deep brown eyes full of affection. She looked away, pretending to check the water temperature in order to distract herself.

"It was your first time," He mused, not breaking his gaze.

"I think we established that, Chuck." She snapped, feeling her cheeks burn.

Before she knew what was happening, he reached up and pulled her towards him, so she nearly fell in his lap.

"Chuck, what are you-" but her words were cut off as he pressed his lips to hers, kissing her passionately. She was instantly dizzy, though not in the same way as she had been at the Palace Hotel. It was more like she was floating; in a trance and unable to break away. Despite her better judgment she kissed him back…she just couldn't help it.

It only lasted a few seconds before he pulled away, still holding her tightly, his eyes burning into hers. "I knew you couldn't resist me."

She glowered at him, knowing full well he was right. "Stop messing with me Chuck," she pleaded, feeling shockingly out of control.

He caressed her cheek with his lips, murmuring sensually. "I thought you liked playing games."

Blair shuddered involuntarily. "I only like it when I know the rules."

"Uh, sorry, am I interrupting anything?" It was Nate, standing awkwardly in the doorway holding a glass of water.

"Nothing." Blair answered sharply, prying herself out of Chuck's grasp. "I'm just getting sexually harassed by a drunken lunatic."

Nate looked confused and Chuck smirked.

"Just make sure you get him in the shower and don't let him drown." Blair snapped at Nate, walking out the door without a backward glance. How could she keep letting him get to her like that?

She realized with disgust that her heart was still beating rapidly. Darota was hovering outside, looking stressed. "Miss Blair, is everything okay?"

"No it is not okay Darota," Blair shouted dramatically, "This is just another complete disaster within the larger catastrophe that has become my life!"

Darota looked perplexed and Blair swore she heard a chuckle emanating from the bathroom.

************************** *********************************************

**Authors Note: I have to briefly say (sorry, I really can't help it) that I am going to be extremely horrified if on next weeks episode it is found out that Blair has been messing around with sketchy Uncle Jack. Ugh. I understand that the producers probably won't put Chuck and Blair together right now…but that would really be too much. So hopefully the previews were just really misleading. Anyway, thanks to all the readers, I hope you liked this new addition. Cheers, Cayle**

**xxktnxx** : Thanks! I really wasn't planning the whole pillow fight thing, but I really couldn't help myself J

**TheCutie** and **flipped** : Yes, Blair's eating disorder is horrible, and she definitely needs help. Unfortunately for now, she's still in denial.

**bloomgirl468** : Thank you! Chuck will find out about Blair's issue soon enough, he is already suspicious.

**AngieLo** : LOL, I want a pillow fight too! Anytime Chuck…

**samitiny**: I'm glad you liked this chapter. I think it is true in life that while some thing's slowly improve others deteriorate. In this story (and I'm sure on the show as well) I think Blair's eating disorder will be a big wake-up call for Chuck. Thanks for reviewing!

**riclynshea** : Thanks for commenting on that. It's hard, because it is a large issue for Blair's character, but the last thing I want to do is make it seem glamorous. It is a very scary thing, and I hope to prove that by the end of the story.

**3chuckandblair3**: Yes, I really miss the "old Chuck", and I really hope we get to see some glimmers of him on the show in spite of all the drama…

**cityhorizon**: I think Chuck can, underneath all the layers, be very charming and considerate. And while Blair is very strong, everyone loves to be rescued once and a while…J

**AllyO2 , bluestriker666**, and **beatistrue**: Thanks for your positive comments, I hope you continue to enjoy!


	9. Battle of the WILL

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with Gossip Girl, or its characters**

It was quite cold, even for New York in January, but somehow Serena didn't mind. She and Dan were bundled up, sitting side by side on a bench in Riverside Park. They were sipping coffee and watching the passersby; mostly silent except for the occasional casual observation. Serena commented on a coat she really liked, and Dan pointed out an extremely fat bulldog dragging its slight owner behind. These were the quiet moments that Serena had come to appreciate about Dan. She loved that while they could have an intimate conversation , or talk for hours about nearly anything, they could also sit in comfortable silence; simply happy to be together. This, Serena realized, was the kind of relationship she had longed for all along. When she was younger this desire had been harder to express, which usually ended in her receiving all the wrong kinds of attention from the opposite sex. But Dan was so different, he really _understood_ her.

"Aren't you cold?" He was asking her, a questioning expression on his face.

Serena smiled at him warmly, she knew he was wondering what was on her mind. "No, not at all. Actually, I was just thinking about how much I enjoy being here…with you."

As always when Serena paid him a compliment, Dan looked a little startled, as if he still couldn't quite believe she was really talking to him. Snapping back to reality he instantly softened, reaching over and taking one of her hands in his. "I like being here with you too," he said earnestly. "I've missed you."

"The more I think about it," Serena said, glancing down and studying his gloved hand, "I realize that being with Aaron was a mistake. He was a decent guy, but it just didn't feel right. And even though I didn't want to admit it, it was because I missed you."

Dan flashed her an encouraging grin. "I've been told I have that effect on people. It's kind of like coffee…you go through withdrawals, cravings…"

Serena laughed heartily. He could always make her do that.

"Seriously though," Dan added earnestly, "I feel the same way, you know that. So we really just need to figure out where we go from here…" He said the last words tentatively, unable to meet her eyes.

"I want to be together." Serena blurted it out so quickly, she even surprised herself.

They giggled for a second like nervous children, Dan looking incredibly relieved before she continued, "I know there is something strange going on with our parents. I mean, one minute they are in love, then they are fighting, and now they mysteriously went to Boston together. But I really don't care-we have to live our own lives."

"And what about the other issues? Like all those things we never talked about before?" Dan asked cautiously, worried for her reaction.

"I know that things can get complicated," Serena said, shaking her head emphatically.

"And I understand that there are still things we need to work out…but I believe in us, Dan. I believe that what we have is worth fighting for, and we should stop denying that."

Her eyes were gleaming as she finished, and Dan couldn't help but reach over and kiss her gently on the lips. She responded readily, throwing her arms around his neck and returning his kiss.

The scene would have quickly progressed to something supremely unsuitable for a public park, had Serena's phone not began to vibrate incessantly. Reluctantly, she broke their embrace. "I'm sorry Dan, it's probably Blair…" she muttered apologetically, fumbling for her cell.

"Either that or it's Gossip Girl, ready to offer her always-appreciated and accurate critique of our relationship." Dan theorized sarcastically, still running his fingers affectionately

through Serena's blond curls.

Serena flipped open her phone, frowning slightly over the text.

**S: 911, my place NOW. Chuck is out of control**

"Bad news?" Dan questioned, looking concerned.

Serena sighed. She really hated to tear herself away from Dan, especially now. "I don't know, it's Blair…" she confessed.

"Is she okay?" Dan pressed, "Is there anything I can do?"

Serena looked at him gratefully. "No, I should go. I'm sorry. This whole things with

Chuck has been so much drama, and Blair needs me. Today is his father's will reading, so

I'm sure he's being extra difficult. I'm so sorry, Dan."

He took her face in his hands , smiling gently. "You have nothing to apologize for. Like I said before, I love how you care about Blair. It just shows me what an amazing person you are."

They sat, gazing at each other for several more seconds before Serena startled, "Oh! I should go! But I'll call you when I'm done."

Dan beamed. "Sure, I'll be here if you need me. I hope everything's okay with Blair."

"Yeah, me too," Serena muttered, casting one last affectionate glance at Dan before hurrying out of the park.

************************** *******************************************

A short cab ride later and Serena burst through the door to Blair's room, worried and out of breath. "B, what happened? What's going on?"

Blair was pacing back and forth in front of her bed, looking extremely flustered. Barely acknowledging her friend's presence she instantly launched into an angry tirade. "_Chuck_," she spat out his name as if it were the foulest of words. "_Chuck_ is what's going on! But what else is new?"

"Is he okay?" Serena asked, fearing the response.

"Yeah, he's fabulous! That is if you classify being so intoxicated you can barely stand up as 'okay'," She ranted. "Nate and I caught him _smoking a joint _at school! Can you believe the audacity? He was completely drunk so we brought him back here for some serious detox, but what does he do? As soon as we turn our back on him for ten seconds he's back to drinking out of his secret flask! Now he's even worse than when we found him, not to mention he nearly gave Nate a broken nose!"

Serena looked aghast. "He hit Nate?"

"Not exactly," Nate had emerged from the bathroom, holding a bloodstained towel over his swollen nose and tilting his head up.

Blair rolled her eyes. "He more like, got elbowed in the struggle."

"What struggle? There's more?" Serena was having a hard time grasping exactly what had just occurred.

"It turns out that Chuck is a confrontational drunk," Blair quipped, "But I guess we knew that."

"He got a little upset when Blair threw his flask out the window," Nate explained, his voice muffled by the makeshift bandage.

"I could have handled it," Blair snapped. "At this point Chuck couldn't win an arm wrestling competition with my grandmother."

"So, where is he now?" Serena asked, both baffled and slightly amused by Blair's comments. "Dead?"

"He mind as well be," Blair snorted. "He's passed out in the bathtub."

Serena looked at her incredulously, but as she started for the door to investigate Blair added, "He's also naked, so proceed at your own risk."

"Gross," Serena muttered, halting with her hand on the doorknob.

"I hoped the cold water would revive him," Nate said, finally lowering the cloth from his face and inspecting the damage. "But no luck yet."

"Don't worry," Blair told Serena in a mock-enthusiastic voice, "He seems to be breathing, so I guess he's alive."

Serena looked skeptical, "Does he have a pulse?"

Blair glared at her. "That would imply that he has a beating heart, so of course the answer is no."

Serena groaned, "B, this is serious! What are we going to do?"

"How much time until the will reading?" Blair asked Nate, her eyes full of fury.

Nate looked down at his watch dubiously. "Uh, about fifty minutes."

"See, it's hopeless!" Blair lamented. "We'll be lucky if Chuck even wakes up in time, let alone makes it to Bass Industries fully clothed and cognizant."

"True," Serena admitted "But why does it matter if Chuck is there or not? My mom is in Boston right now, and I'm pretty sure that doesn't affect the outcome of her inheritance."

"Serena's right, you know," Nate chimed in, looking hopefully at Blair. "It really shouldn't matter."

Blair gave Nate a withering look. "It doesn't matter for Lily because her lawyer will be there to protect her interests. The only person looking out for Chuck's interests is sleazy Uncle Jack, and somehow I think he is more concerned with his own agenda. I don't trust him."

Nate shrugged, "Then why don't we go and keep an eye on Jack." His proposal was met with stunned silence, so he added quickly. "I don't really know how these things work…it was just an idea."

"No, Nathanial," Blair said, beginning to pace and scheme excitedly, a familiar glint in her eye. "It's a perfect idea. We'll go represent Chuck, and make sure that slimy Jack Bass doesn't try anything shady devious. Serena, I'm sorry, but being Lily's daughter, it might be viewed as a conflict of interest if you accompany us…which means I am afraid you will have to stay and watch Chuck."

Serena grimaced, "You want me to stay here an baby-sit Chuck?"

"I'm sorry S," Blair replied in her most business-like voice. "But it's the only way. If Chuck is too irresponsible to go claim his billions I guess his friends will have to do it for him."

"Fine," Serena groaned, "But I'm calling for reinforcements. There is no way you are leaving me here alone with Chuck Bass passed out naked in the bathtub."

"You're calling Humphrey?" Blair asked indignantly, casting a worried glance at Nate.

Serena rolled her eyes, "B, this is really not a great time for you to bring up your laundry-list of Dan's flaws. We could really use some extra help."

This time it was Blair's turn to give in. "Okay," she conceded, adding protectively, "but if he tells _anyone _about this I will personally destroy him and send him crying back to Brooklyn, I don't care how many sappy love poems he's written about you."

"Dan's a good guy, Blair. Give him a chance," Nate reassured.

Blair instantly took charge, barking orders at her two friends. "Nate, go check on Chuck. Serena, hurry up and call Humphrey. No matter what, DO NOT let Chuck out of your sight. I don't care if you have to lock him in my closet. If you really need help, ask Darota, I think she's hiding downstairs. I'm going to change into a more lawyer-worthy ensemble."

Serena just nodded obediently. This was going to be one long evening.

*********************************** **********************************

Despite the setbacks, Blair and Nate managed to arrive at Bass Industries a full ten minutes early. As they exited the taxi, they practically tripped over Jack Bass, who had just arrived in his gleaming black limo and was admiring the towering office building. He lifted an eyebrow, "Blair, this is a surprise."

Blair suppressed her grimace, and instead opted for a friendly and professional tone. "Yes, I imagine it is. I'm here to represent Chuck."

Jack, not catching the meaning of her words, snickered. "I don't suppose you've seen dear Charles? He was supposed to ride with me, but I fear he is running a little late."

The three of them entered the building together, walking into Bart's former office where they were greeted by his lawyer. Once everyone had sat down and become situated the lawyer, a tall, stately man with horn-rimmed glasses, addressed the group. "Mrs. Bass, who is unable to be here will be represented by her attorney, and Mr. Jack Bass, brother of the deceased, will be representing himself. Mr. Bass, where is your nephew, Charles?"

Jack smirked. "I'm afraid I don't know. You see, Charles is a bit of a free spirit-"

"Mr. Charles Bass had a prior obligation." Blair cut in authoritatively, scowling at Jack. "He has asked myself and Mr. Archibald to represent him. I have a signed, notarized letter stating such."

She pulled the letter, which she had spent a good twenty minutes forging along with Serena, from Nate's briefcase. Thankfully Cyrus, being a lawyer, was also a notary, and she had "borrowed" the seal from his desk. It was likely a poor copy, but thankfully the lawyer scarcely glanced at it. He simply nodded at her, adjusting his glasses. "Very well, Ms. Waldorf."

"Wait a minute," Jack spluttered, looking cheated. "She can't represent Charles! She's not family, and she's certainly not a lawyer!"

Bart's solicitor frowned. "Well, if it is indeed the desire of Charles Bass that he be represented by this young lady, I'm afraid I must respect his wishes."

"But he's only _seventeen_," Jack reasoned, smiling broadly though his eyes glinted with anger. "I am his legal guardian."

"Which brings me to our next point." The lawyer continued , shuffling through some papers. "As his only living relation, you have been appointed Charles's legal guardian." He said, addressing Jack. "However, Charles Bass has the option to contest this if he so wishes."

Blair became aware that all eyes had shifted to her and Nate.

"Does Mr. Bass agree to this arrangement?" The lawyer pressed.

Blair gulped. This was something she hadn't expected. She realized this was a decision she wasn't meant to make, yet she couldn't help feeling extremely distrustful of Jack. "And if Charles would like to continue living with _Mrs. _Bass?" She heard herself saying without thinking.

"Absolutely NOT." Jack spat venomously, glowering at Blair.

"I'm afraid, if there is a disagreement, that it will have to be settled between the attorney of Mrs. Lily Bass and Mr. Jack Bass," the lawyer drawled casually, undeterred by the obvious tension in the room. "As I represent the late Mr. Bartholomew Bass, my only purpose is to ensure his will is properly carried out. So for the moment, I will continue."

"What about Bass Industries?" Jack demanded, momentarily forgetting the conflict.

"Yes, I was just getting to that. Forty-nine percent of the shares have been divided between Mrs. Bass and the Board of Directors, with twenty percent going to Mrs. Bass, and the remaining twenty-nine percent distributed to the Board." He continued reading in a monotone voice.

"That leaves fifty-one percent!" Jack exclaimed, nearly falling out of his seat. Blair noticed with disgust that he was perspiring heavily, sweat trickling down his brow.

"Yes," the attorney responded calmly, once again ignoring Jack's outburst. "And for this purpose I have been asked to give this letter to Mr. Charles Bass-or, uh, his representatives then" He said, peering at Nate and Blair as if he had just noticed them.

"I'll read it on behalf f Charles," Blair said firmly, quickly snatching the envelope before Jack had a chance to retaliate.

She tore it open and read quickly. There were several rather touching paragraphs on Bart's confidence in his son and then…Blair's breath caught in her throat, and her grip tightened automatically, nearly crumpling the thin sheets of paper.

"Well, what IS it?" Jack demanded testily, but Blair ignored him. Instead she looked incredulously between the letter and Nate's expectant face as she read, "I am bequeathing to you a fifty-one percent share of Bass Industries, effective upon your eighteenth birthday."

"That BASTARD!" Jack shouted, not even attempting to conceal his temper he stood, nearly overturning the table.

"Mr. Bass!" The lawyer exclaimed, looking appalled.

Jack's explosion of outrage had certainly startled Blair, but it hadn't surprised her. Rather, it only confirmed her suspicions that Jack had been after Bart's empire all along.

For a second, their eyes met. Jack looked positively livid, his face was bright red, and a vein in his temple was pulsing wildly. She knew better, but Blair couldn't help a small smile of triumph from rising to her lips.

This didn't go unnoticed by Jack, and he laughed bitterly. "So you're going to gloat?" He challenged, his own eyes dancing with some unidentified emotion. "You think just because dearly departed Bart overlooked me after _years_ of hard work that Charles is going to benefit? He's an irresponsible teenager! He couldn't run Bass industries even if he wanted to, which I am sure he doesn't."

"How would you know?" Blair challenged angrily. "Bart obviously believed in him, you're only jealous it didn't go to you."

Jack snorted, "If you think Charles will EVER lead this company, than you are sorely mistaken. He doesn't care about the Bass Empire, all he cares about is spending his vast inheritance on booze and whores. Even he knows that, and once he realizes it-"

"Jack!" Blair reprimanded, "This is not up for you to decide."

He leered at her threateningly. "We'll see about that," he taunted, pulling on his jacket. "Excuse me gentlemen, it's been a pleasure, but I have to go find my nephew now."

As Jack exited, Blair turned urgently to Nate, who looked completely shocked over what had transpired. "Get back to my place NOW and tell Dan and Serena what is happening. Don't let Chuck answer the phone. We have to keep him away from Jack until we can reason with him. Oh, and take this," she added, handing Nate the letter, "but don't let Chuck read it until he is sober."

Nate nodded, "Uh, okay, but where are you going?"

Blair looked determinedly at the door. "I'm going to talk to Jack."

*********************************** **********************************

In the past hour, Chuck had managed to wake up, half-way dress himself, and stagger out of the bathroom. He had taken one confused look at Dan and Serena, muttered, 'whatthehellisgoingon?", and collapsed onto the bed, where he was now snoring soundly.

Dan and Serena were sitting in the corner, wrapped in a blanket and watching Chuck's chest rise and fall with perplexity.

"At least he's snoring so loud we know he's not dead". Dan offered helpfully.

Serena stifled a giggle. "Darota said she can hear him downstairs with the water running."

"At least he didn't try to escape." Dan contributed again, and this time Serena couldn't help but laugh out loud.

"Dan! Stop making me laugh!" She accused.

Dan raised his eyebrows at her quizzically. "What, it's not like he's going to wake up! I think a rocket could go off next to him and he wouldn't budge. The guy is practically in a coma!"

"Stop!" Serena chortled, grasping his shoulder for support.

Dan smiled at her. "I'm only trying to look on the bright side. I mean, with Chuck Bass you have to find the positive where you can."

"You're right." Serena agreed, her eyes full of mirth, "I never thought I could have so much fun baby-sitting Chuck Bass when he's passed out drunk, but you do always make me laugh."

"It's funny, I never thought I'd have so much fun baby-sitting Chuck Bass either." Dan grinned mischievously, "Maybe we should shave his eyebrows!"

"Dan!" Serena exclaimed, dissolving into another bout of laughter.

Just then the door opened and Nate stumbled in, his cheeks ruddy from the cold. As predicted, the noise of his arrival didn't wake Chuck, but both Dan and Serena jumped to their feet. "Nate! What happened?" They chorused, taking in his disheveled appearance.

Nate quickly opened his briefcase and pulled out a wrinkled envelope. "You guys aren't going to believe this."

******************************* **************************************

"Jack!" Blair was chasing him, running as fast as her heels would allow, her steps clicking on the marble floor of the lobby.

Panicking, she looked to the revolving doors, wondering if she was too late to stop him. Suddenly, she turned and saw his coattail disappearing down the corridor leading to the men's restroom. "Jack!" She pursued him down the dim hallway, catching his arm just outside the door.

He looked down at her harshly. "Have you come to sexually harass me in the bathroom, or are you hear for the well-being of precious Charles?"

Blair glared at him, trying her best not to feel intimidated as he towered over her. "I want to talk to you about Chuck, about what you said-it isn't right!" She stated boldly, hands on hips. His lip curled, and he scowled down at her without speaking. Blair continued, "Bart Bass believed in his son. You have no right to try and sabotage that just because it doesn't benefit you. Chuck deserves a chance to take his rightful place at the head of Bass Industries."

"You think I don't know what you're after." He snarled, sneering vengefully, "You may be young Blair, but you're not stupid. I'm not the only one trying to use young Charles. You think if you stick around long enough and play the sympathetic, supporting wife that one day Chuck will be dumb enough to marry you and then this will all be yours."

Blair stared at him, completely stunned. "You think that's why I'm doing this?"

Jack stepped very close to her, his fists clenching formidably. "Perhaps. But is doesn't really matter why I think you're doing it." His voice was low and dangerous. "It matters why Chuck thinks you're doing it."

The realization of his words began to sink in, and Blair blanched.

Noticing her reaction, Jack smirked. "Yes, Blair, who do you think Chuck is going to believe? Me or you? I might not have spent a lot of time with my nephew, but it's pretty clear to me that he has a commitment problem, just like all Bass men. If he gets wind that you're scheming to marry him for money or social status, well, I'm afraid he won't stick around very long."

"Chuck won't listen to you." Blair tried to speak firmly, but her voice was shaking. "You have no right talk him out of his position as CEO."

Jack was pressing up against her now, so close their faces were nearly touching. She tried to step away, but her back was pinned against the wall; she could smell alcohol on his breath. "Actually, I have every right to convince him otherwise. It's for the good of the company" He growled, reaching out and grabbing her by the wrist. "You will find I can be very persuasive."

"Stop!" Blair cried, struggling to get free. He simply smiled menacingly, tightening his grip until she whimpered in pain.

"You had better stay out of this," He hissed in her ear, "or I will ruin you."

He pulled her toward him and then slammed her forcefully against the wall, hard enough to knock the breath out of her. Taking advantage of her confusion he pressed his lips roughly to hers, letting his hands roam over her body; groping her harshly.

She was so shocked it took a moment for her brain to click into gear, and she struggled to remember the self-defense moves she had learned in PE. She got her moment of opportunity as he parted his legs to rub up against her, and brought her knee full force into his groin. He howled in agony and doubled over. Angrily, Blair gave him a sharp elbow to the nose, and satisfied by the sickening crunch, ran as fast as she could in the opposite direction.

************************* *********************************************

**Hey all, sorry it's been so long! I hope you guys enjoyed this update. As always, thanks so much to my reviewers and anyone else who has enjoyed reading this story. Cheers! Cayle**

xxktnxx : Thanks! I love seeing the group interact, and I've been missing it lately on the show.

TheCutie : haha I laughed when I read your review. But it's true, Chuck is a bit hopeless…he'll grow up eventually though ;)

maggymoo21: Thanks! I hope Chuck figures it out soon too. Like on the show, I just want to strangle him sometimes!

beatistrue , bluestriker666 : Thanks as always for your reviews and support!

furygrrl : Thanks so much! I'm really glad you're enjoying it. I love seeing all the characters relate to each other. They all have such fun personalities, but its especially enjoyable when they are bantering.

samitiny ; Unfortunately, Chuck is pretty self-absorbed right now. But when he does find out, it will definitely change his perspective.

riclynshea : I like when S and B are more involved in each others lives as well, lately I feel like on the show everyone has had a separate plot line and drifted apart a bit…

sailor cyanide : Don't worry, he'll be back!

AllyO2 : yeah, Chuck is still a mess! I guess that won't go away anytime soon, but I also miss his old scheming self! Blair will eventually come to terms with her issues, she just needs a bit of help J

sinful ang3l : He will soon!


	10. Boiling Point

**Disclaimer: Sadly, I don't own Gossip Girl.**

The confrontation with Jack was still a dizzying blur in her mind as Blair hurriedly took the stairs to her room. Though she had received no new messages on her phone, Blair was still terrified she'd return to find Chuck gone. Thus, she breathed a sigh of relief as she entered and took in the scene before her. Serena, Dan, and Nate stood in a cluster, all staring down at a piece of paper and murmuring excitedly; while Chuck was sprawled on her bed, fast asleep. They were so absorbed in discussing the last wishes of Bart Bass that they hardly noticed Blair slip in the door. She was incredibly grateful for this, as she needed to regroup after her ordeal. "Hey guys," She muttered, quickly grabbing a different outfit from her closet and retreating to the bathroom.

Carefully unbuttoning her jacket, Blair inspected the damage. She had certainly broken Jack's nose, or at least caused some serious harm. Some of his blood had splattered onto her pearly white blouse, leaving ugly crimson stains. _Gross_, though Blair angrily, _it isn't enough that he tries to violate me, but he also has to ruin my clothes_? She quickly removed the blouse, stuffing it into a drawer with a expression of disgust. Looking in the mirror she grimaced, horrified to see her disheveled appearance. Though her contact with Jack Bass had been mercifully brief, he had left his mark on her as well. She could see painful purple bruises beginning to puff up on her breasts, thighs, and stomach. The worst were her wrists, which were beginning to swell. That _bastard_. He was a dangerous man, for both her and for Chuck. He had to be taken down.

"B? Are you okay?" Serena was knocking on the door, sounding worried.

"I'm fine," Blair lied, still studying the bruises in the mirror. "I just need to change out of these uncomfortable clothes."

"Okay, hurry up though," Serena sounded unconvinced. "Nate was just filling us in on the will reading. I can't believe it…"

'I know," Blair replied, quickly undressing and pulling on a turtleneck and dark gray pair of slacks. The look wasn't particularly stylish, but functional, and did manage to cover up all the bruises. "Jack was so certain Bass Industries was going to be left to him. It wiped the smug smile right off his face." As a finishing touch, she carefully applied another layer of powder under her eyes, where the makeup had been smeared by her tears. Satisfied, she inhaled steadily and opened the door.

Serena, Nate, and Dan, who had apparently all been clustered outside of the bathroom with their ears to the door, jumped back, trying to look innocent.

Blair rolled her eyes. "I'm _fine_! It's Chuck we need to be worried about." She added in a hushed voice, glancing over at his sleeping form lying unceremoniously across her bed.

"Did you confront Jack?" Nate asked anxiously.

"I guess you could say that," Blair grumbled bitterly. She could still feel his repulsive hands roaming over her body. The whole incident made her feel used and dirty, like she wanted to take a long, hot shower and try to scrub it away.

"What happened?" Serena pressed, still staring worriedly at her best friend.

Blair sighed, glancing again at Chuck to make sure he was still snoring soundly. She didn't want to give them the gruesome details about what had transpired with Jack, it would only take everyone's focus away from the will. Not to mention she didn't think she could handle any more of Serena's concerned reproaches. Instead, they all needed to concentrate on how to thwart Jack's attempts to take over Bass Industries. "Jack…threatened me." She told them uncertainly. "He made it very clear that he is going to do everything in his power to undermine Bart's wishes, which means that he is going to try and convince Chuck to pass on the title of CEO. When I insisted he was wrong, he threatened to ruin me."

Serena gasped, "He did?"

"Yes," Blair nodded, "He actually got quite nasty."

Her three companions stood for a moment, quietly digesting the new information. Nate finally broke the silence, scowling. "I knew that guy was bad news."

Dan shrugged. "Well, it seems pretty obvious what he is trying to do. You said even Chuck was suspicious of him. So it shouldn't be hard to warn Chuck about his intentions."

Blair fixed him with a condescending stare. "Obviously, you don't know Chuck. In spite of his desperation to push everyone away, he is actually very impressionable. In some strange way, Chuck sort of admires his uncle. Not to mention that Jack is the only family Chuck has left."

"But…it _is_ Chuck's decision." Serena added hesitantly. "If he doesn't want to be CEO, that's his choice."

"Yes," Blair said deliberately, "But he isn't going to be clear-headed enough to make a choice with Uncle Jack buzzing around. Chuck lacks confidence, and that scumbag knows completely how to exploit it. Don't you see that that slime ball is willing to stoop to any means to get what he wants?"

"So, what are we going to do?" asked Nate, running his fingers through his hair in frustration.

"Talk to him." Blair insisted adamantly, "Before dear Uncle Jack can manipulate his opinions."

"What, _now_?" Dan questioned, watching Chuck's body convulse with a particularly loud snore. "The guy is practically dead."

"Well," chirped Blair, "there's no time like the present." Before anyone could stop her, she marched firmly to the bed, and gave Chuck a solid slap on the cheek. "Hey, Sleeping Beauty, WAKE UP!" She commanded, slapping him again.

Dan and Nate exchanged furtive glances, and Serena clapped one hand to her forehead. "Uh, B, maybe we should talk about this more…?"

Blair was leaning over him now, one knee on the bed and her face inches from his. "CHUCK BASS, IF YOU EVER WANT TO SEE A PENNY OF YOUR BILLION DOLLARS YOU HAD BETTER WAKE UP, NOW!"

Dan, Serena, and Nate all winced as she punctuated the sentence with another resounding smack. However, her unorthodox methods did the trick, and Chuck's eyes fluttered open. Blair sat back, satisfied, as Chuck glanced around in confusion. He first fixed his blurred vision on Blair, rubbing his eyes. "Did you come back for more?" He smirked groggily.

"Oh, well good to know the real Chuck does still exist. For a minute I worried his charming personality had been lost." Dan mumbled to Serena. It was unclear whether Chuck understood his words, but hearing Dan's voice he sat upright in surprise. His gaze passed to the concerned faces of Dan, Serena, and Nate, before finally returning to Blair. "Whatthehell?" He mumbled, blinking furiously.

"Chuck," Blair addressed him slowly, as though talking to a very small child, "These are your _friends_. We are here to _help _you."

Chuck looked around the room again and groaned. "Not you three again… and now, _Humphrey_?"

Dan gave his best nerdy wave, and Chuck collapsed back on the bed. "This has to be some kind of nightmare."

"I couldn't agree more," Dan added sarcastically, "The only thing missing is my English lit teacher dressed in drag.

Blair ignored him, and leaning over Chuck, said sweetly, "Actually, this is more like one of those serendipitous dreams where you find out you can fly, or, inherit a billion dollars…"

"Congratulations, you are a boy billionaire." Serena affirmed.

"What?" Chuck shook his head, desperately trying to make sense of his surroundings.

"Your father's will reading you idiot!" Blair snapped, quickly loosing her patience. "You're rich. Congratulations."

"Or maybe we should say rich-er." Dan muttered.

"Oh, SHIT!" Chuck jolted upright again, nearly knocking Blair of the bed. Panicking, he simultaneously tried to re-button his shirt and look for a clock.

Blair rolled her eyes. "Does someone else want to explain this to him? Obviously, he's not getting it."

"Um, Chuck?" Nate stepped in, grasping his best friend by the shoulders in order to calm him. "The will reading is over. But don't worry. Blair and I went for you, and everything is okay. Your father left all his personal funds to you."

Chuck nodded silently, slowly registering what he was saying.

"And there's something else," said Blair, waving the envelope ceremoniously, "Though maybe you should have some coffee first."

"I can handle it," Chuck rasped, pulling the envelope from her grasp. He opened it and read it slowly, all four watching him in trepidation.

His reactions were controlled, though they all noticed his eyes widen visibly as he read the paragraph which designated his fathers wishes. He read it over twice before slowly raising his eyes and staring only at Blair. "This can't be right…"

"It _is_ right." She assured him warmly. "You're father left Bass Industries to you."

Chuck shook his head. "No, it doesn't make sense. I was an embarrassment to him…"

"No you weren't." Blair stated emphatically. He trusted you…and only you….with his legacy."

"Yeah Chuck, your father believed you could do it." Nate added encouragingly.

"But I can't," Chuck growled. "I wouldn't even know how."

"You can learn," Blair insisted. "Your father understood you have what it takes."

"We know you can do this Chuck," Nate said, Dan and Serena nodding in support.

Before the conversation could continue, there was a commotion outside, and Jack Bass suddenly appeared with Darota trailing at his heels. "I'm sorry Miss Blair," Darota wailed in anguish, "I tried to stop him! He would not listen."

Blair notices with satisfaction that his nose was covered with a white tape, and there were dark purple bruises forming under both eyes.

Jack was still panting from exertion, and glared at Darota. "I told this…lovely assistant of yours there must be some mistake. I can't imagine why nobody would be happy to see me when I come bearing such good news." He turned to Chuck and fixed him with a broad grin. "Congratulations, Chuck, you're in charge of everything." He threw his arms open to punctuate the sentence, continuing, "Now, how about a real celebration? The party's on me!"

Blair gave him an icy scowl, while the others simply looked stunned by his appearance.

"Oh come on," Jack continued, his voice still forced to sound cheerful, "You can bring your little friends of you want."

Chuck shook his head slowly. "I'm sorry; I think I just need a moment to think this over."

Jack tried to hide his frustration, and clapped his nephew on the shoulder. "Of course, it's a lot to wrap your head around. Why don't we put the celebration on hold and go back to the hotel so you can think in peace." He glared at Blair for emphasis. "It is a school night after all; we don't want to wear out our welcome."

"Actually, Chuck, maybe you should stay here for awhile," Blair objected quickly. "I'm sure your Uncle has a lot of work to do. He is, after all, running the corporation in the interim. We sure wouldn't want to take up to much of his valuable time.

The tension in the room seemed obvious to all but Chuck, who was either still to drunk or overwhelmed to catch the furious glances passing between Blair and Jack. "Thanks Blair," said Chuck, rising slowly from the bed, "but I really should go with my uncle. We have a lot to discuss."

Blair watched helplessly as Jack assisted his nephew to put on his jacket and led him to the door. He turned to sneer at Blair one last time. "Thanks for your help. We'll be in touch."

************************************************** **********************************************************

It was past ten o'clock when Nate, Dan, and Serena said their goodbyes. Dan had a curfew, and Blair knew that if she had company too late on a school night, Darota was sure to blab to Eleanor. Blair had left at least ten messages on Chuck's cell phone, begging him to call her back. The others had done their best to assure her that in spite of his often questionable actions, that Chuck was capable of making good decisions.

"I know he's vulnerable B," Serena had said comfortingly as she hugged Blair goodnight, "but he won't let Jack take over his life in one night. We'll talk to him at school tomorrow and everything will be fine."

This still didn't keep Blair from worrying that with each passing second Jack was poisoning Chuck against her. She tried to sleep, and when that failed she attempted to work on a homework assignment, but no matter how hard she tried she couldn't think of anything besides Chuck and the day's events. Reluctantly, she put her textbook away and reached for her cell. She hated to look so desperate, but she couldn't help feeling a sense of urgency regarding Bart's will.

Just as she touched it, the phone vibrated loudly, making her heart jump. She opened it eagerly, but her hopes were quickly dashed as she read Gossip Girl's latest headline.

"**Its not everyday you see a real life example of the saying 'to live like a billionaire', but in case you're wondering what it's really like to roll in all that cash, check out these photos of our newly anointed boy billionaire, Chuck Bass. Word on the street is that he inherited his dearly departed daddy's deep pockets and he's celebrating his new found fortune with an impromptu bash at Victrola. Money is no object, and neither is schoolwork or a curfew for that matter. I guess for some people money really does grow on trees. XOXO"**

************************************************************* *************************************************

Needless to say, Blair hadn't slept very much. Instead, after purging, she had spent most of her evening rehearsing the conversation she was going to have with Chuck the following day at school. However, despite searching for him all afternoon, he never appeared. He didn't show up for the rest of the week, in fact, he seemed to have fallen off the face of the earth. The only person who did manage to find him with any regularity was Gossip Girl, who followed his progress to a series of dive bars and strip clubs where he appeared to be continuing his celebration with Uncle Jack and a harem of heavily made-up women in tow.

An emergency meeting of the "non-judging breakfast club" had been called, and they had decided it would be best to ambush Chuck at the hotel on Saturday afternoon, when Jack would likely be out running errands.

"There's no point in trying to reason with him when he's drunk and surrounded by a posse of gawking hookers and that horrible Uncle Jack." Blair had reasoned, speaking from her own experiences. However, when Friday night rolled around and Gossip Girl posted news of another raucous party at Victrola, Blair had reconsidered.

And so, she met with Serena, Nate, and Dan once again outside the club. Like a general barking orders to the troops, she briefed her forces on a plan of attack. "Serena, you're on skank patrol. Please, keep all scantily-clad hookers away from Chuck. Resort to physical violence if necessary. I need to talk to him alone." Serena rolled her eyes. "Nate and Dan, you two need to distract Uncle Jack."

Dan looked at her disbelievingly. "How are we supposed to do that?"

Blair groaned indignantly. "Honestly, how are you supposed to be a writer if you have NO imagination? You have to learn how to address your audience. Just talk to him about something he knows, like herpes medication or crack cocaine."

"But I don't know about any of that stuff!" Dan protested, alarmed.

"Then maybe you should just strip naked on the stage and dance for him. That would probably do the trick." Blair snapped.

Dan's jaw dropped, but Nate intervened quickly. "Don't worry, we'll think of something."

They entered the packed club, dodging groups of tipsy, giggling girls. Chuck and Jack were holding court at their usual spot on the couch, surrounded as always by a gaggle of women. From a distance, Blair watched in horror as Chuck caressed a leggy brunette. Realizing the others were looking to her for a signal, she quickly snapped back to reality, forcing herself to concentrate on the task at hand. Only then did she notice Jack leaning down to do a line of what appeared to be cocaine from the table. Reacting instinctively she stepped forward for a closer look, armed with her camera phone.

The others caught up with her a moment later. "What happened?" Serena asked, glancing worriedly between her best friend and the couch. "Change of plans?"

Blair smiled, feeling her confidence returning. "No, I just needed some extra ammunition. Let's go."

Jack noticed them approaching and leered at Blair over his drink. "I don't remember inviting you," he spat, emboldened by the alcohol.

"Actually, I'm here to see Chuck." Blair stated boldly, refusing to back down.

Jack chuckled, reaching over and pulling his nephew away from the brunette. "Hey Charles, look who it is."

Chuck looked up, and his face instantly clouded with anger. Blair felt a sharp pain in the pit of her stomach; Jack had done everything she had feared. "We need to talk…alone." she said shakily, suddenly aware of everyone's eyes on her. She felt incredibly vulnerable, her self-assurance slipping by the second.

"I have nothing to say to you Blair." His voice was controlled, and he refused to look her in the eye.

"Come on Chuck," Jack drawled, taking a long sloppy drink of whiskey straight from the bottle. "Why don't you two have a talk? Maybe then she'll leave us alone."

A couple of the girls sitting nearby tittered, and Blair felt her cheeks burn.

"Fine," Chuck muttered, rising to his feet. "Let's get it over with".

Chuck led them to a quiet corner in the back, before turning angrily to face Blair. "What do you want this time?" He asked, his voice sounding tired and frustrated.

"I want to talk to you about why you are doing this," she replied indignantly, gesturing back toward the stage, "The girls, the drinking, the drugs…every time it's the same thing. We just keep going in circles."

"_We_ aren't going anywhere, Blair," Chuck retorted violently. "When are you going to understand that? I'm just trying to live _my_ life. And it's none of your damn business."

"I'm just trying to help," Blair whispered, feeling tears well up in her eyes against her will.

"Yeah," Chuck snorted bitterly, "You're just trying to help yourself."

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me." His voice was dangerously low, his eyes shooting sparks. "Jack was right about you."

"Jack? Are you serious? You are going to believe that man's lies?" Blair cried. Her fury at Jack was beginning to reach a boiling point.

"Jack warned me about getting involved with someone with such an obvious agenda: someone who is just dying to play the wife, someone who so clearly is just hoping for a payoff. All you ever do is try to control me, Blair."

She looked at him, speechless for a moment, beginning feeling lightheaded again. "I don't believe this," she said weakly. "You actually think that by trying to be there for you, I am just hoping to worm my way into your life so I can benefit from Bass Industries?"

Chuck didn't say anything; he simply stared rigidly at the floor.

"I can't believe that after everything we have been through together, that this is really what you see me as: a manipulative, money-grubbing opportunist. I can't fathom that you are so readily convinced that my motives are so dishonorable." Her voice broke, and she too looked down at the ground, trying to draw strength from the sight of her favorite pair of Manolos. "All I wanted was what was best for you."

Chuck shook his head. "Jack said you made a pass at him."

"What?" Blair looked up sharply. "What are you talking about?"

"He said at my father's will reading you insisted that I run Bass Industries. He said you told the judge that I wanted live with Lily. He said that when he questioned this, you threatened him. And he told me that afterwards you tried to seduce him when he wouldn't agree with you."

"None of what Jack lied about surprises me," said Blair softly, wrapping her arms around herself. "The only thing that surprises me is that you believed him."

They stood in silence for a moment. The room felt uncomfortably stuffy, and Blair resisted a strong urge to simply run away and disappear into the night. But she couldn't leave it like this. She was simply too angry and too hurt. "You know Chuck," she said, collecting herself. "I have put up with this crap again and again. And NOT, as Uncle Jack would have you believe, because I am scheming after your fortune. It's because I love you." She said it as matter-of-factly as possible, and though Chuck noticeably flinched, she continued. "I forgave you after you told Gossip Girl about our love life, and basically called me a whore. I still couldn't get over you when you stood me up in Tuscany. I've tried to be here for you, even after you've rejected me and pushed me away again and again and again."

She paused for a moment to compose herself, wiping the tears away angrily. "I guess it's no wonder why you think I'm only after your money. No sane person would be willing to go through this for any other reason. I'm done, Chuck. I'm not going to do this anymore."

He stood stiffly, still refusing to meet her eyes.

"And just for the record," she sniffed, pulling up the sleeve of her jacket to show him the bruises, fading slightly but no less ugly. "It was Jack who made a pass at me; he tried to attack me after the will reading. I won't be called a liar."

"Blair…" He was gazing at her wrists in horror, but she quickly covered them again.

Without another word she turned to move past him, her eyes still glistening.

"Blair, wait!" He reached out and grabbed her by the arm, causing her to wince in pain.

"Stay away from me Chuck!" She cried, wrenching free of his grasp and running.

He tried to follow her, but she disappeared into the crowd. His head was spinning violently and he still reeled from their conversation. He staggered through the club, pushing through the crowd in search of Blair. What had he done? In all the confusion his diluted mind zeroed in on one person…Jack.

He was still sitting on the couch, roughly kissing a tall blonde. Chuck felt his blood boil. He reached the table in two strides, upending it and sending its contents flying onto the floor. Bottles and glasses shattered on the ground, spraying whiskey and shards of glass onto a startled Jack and his companions. Chuck grabbed Jack by the collar and pulled him upright, only to lay him flat again with a tremendous punch to the jaw. He was only vaguely aware of the girls shrieking and the sound of more breaking glass as he launched himself at his uncle, ready for a fight to the death.

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**Hey all, I know this chapter was a bit depressing. But I promise- this is the low point for Chuck and things will start improving, so stick with me! **

**I'm not going to respond to everyone's reviews personally tonight, I'm just too tired and lazy ******** …I'll do it next time. Regardless, I so appreciate everyone's responses, it really inspires me to keep this story going. Thanks for reading!**


	11. Sweet, Sweet Revenge

**Disclaimer: I don't own Gossip Girl! **

Blair had been ignoring Serena's calls all morning, so it was of little surprise when Darota called her downstairs and she found Dan, Serena, and Nate standing in the parlor.

Blair rolled her eyes dramatically, "I should have known you three would turn up."

"Yeah, you know, we're kind of like a group of superheroes rushing to the rescue, coming together to save the day, using our superpowers to-" Dan joked nervously.

"Thanks, Humphrey, I think I got it," Blair interrupted, "Next time I'll just look out the window for the Bat Signal."

"Actually, since this is New York, I kind of like to think of us more like Spiderman." Dan fidgeted, giving Blair a lopsided smile.

"Or how about the Fantastic Four?" Nate chimed in, "You know…since there are four of us."

"Wow, Archibald, I had no idea you had such advanced math skills." Blair mocked, fixing him with an irritated stare. "But since no one wants to see Humphrey in spandex, I think I'll pass on the whole super hero analogy, thank you."

"You didn't answer any of our calls." Serena said firmly, "We had to come see you."

"I didn't answer my calls because quite frankly, I need a huge break from the disaster that is Chuck Bass." Blair countered, feeling herself flush at the mention of Chuck's name.

"A true hero never wavers from the quest, no matter the odds!" Dan offered stoically.

Blair turned on him furiously. "Superheroes also aren't supposed to turn to the dark side!" She snapped, "And if you make one more nerdy comic book reference I think I'm going to hurl you out the window myself."

"Blair," Serena chided her. "Dan's just trying to lighten the mood."

"Then consider it lightened, and leave me alone!" Blair shot back indignantly. "I don't want anything more to do with…with…urgh!" She spluttered, throwing up her hands in protest.

"Look, Blair," Nate begin seriously, "I know Chuck said some awful things last night, but he didn't mean them. Honestly, he is really sorry."

"It's funny he would never bother to come here and tell me that himself," Blair muttered softly, looking at the floor.

Nate exchanged furtive glances with Dan and Serena, before explaining, "Well, he wanted to come with us, but he couldn't. And he only got one phone call. He was going to call you, but we managed to convince him it would be better to contact his lawyer."

Blair looked up sharply. "Are you telling me that Chuck is _in jail_?" She asked incredulously.

Her three friends nodded, all looking at her tentatively, awaiting her reaction.

"Great," she snorted, "That's wonderful. What did he do now? Get caught with an underage transvestite? Sell drugs to a troop of boy scouts? Trip over his ego and light the bar on fire? Honestly, none of it would surprise me, and more to the point: I don't care."

"He sort of…attacked his uncle." Nate told her, "Right after you left."

"What?" Blair asked, completely caught off guard.

"If Dan and Nate hadn't managed to pull him off, I think Jack would be lying buried next to his brother." Serena said soberly.

"It wasn't easy, let me tell you." Dan interjected.

"Anyway," Nate continued, "Jack's in the hospital with a broken jaw, and Chuck's in jail. He's being released on bail at noon, but they had to keep him overnight, because he was more than a little intoxicated."

"Why would Chuck do that?" Blair murmured, addressing herself more than the group.

"He did it because he was furious at Jack for hurting you. And I have to say, that bastard deserved it." Nate said firmly.

"But now Chuck is in trouble, because Jack is pressing charges, for _assault_." Serena added urgently. "Which means that Chuck could lose Bass Industries. There's a morality clause in Bart's will that states if Chuck gets into trouble, then the title of CEO will be passed on to Jack."

"Oh come on," Blair retorted, trying to squelch the growing doubt she could feel welling up in the pit of her stomach, "Chuck's got more than enough money to hire a good lawyer. I'm sure this thing will blow over."

"I don't think so," Serena said, shaking her head resolutely. "All Jack wants in Bass Industries, and Chuck can't argue his way out of what happened."

"Not with fifty witnesses, an arrest, and a tox report on who knows what drugs and alcohol were in his system." Dan added.

Blair shrugged nonchalantly. "Then I really don't know why you're here. There's nothing I can do about it."

"That's where you're wrong," said Nate, glancing around for support. "We need to come up with a plan to stop Jack."

"And we all know that no one is better at blackmail and sabotage than you, B." Serena continued encouragingly. "What do you think."

Blair looked around at their expectant faces and took a deep breath, choosing her words very carefully. "I have tried to do everything in my power to help Chuck," She began, "but I can't keep doing it, I just can't. You'll probably all hate me for it, but at some point you have to cut your losses. Chuck has brought me nothing but grief, and I'm not going to keep putting myself through this. I'm sorry. Besides, it's like you said, there's really nothing that can be done."

Nate and Dan looked at each other nervously, avoiding her eyes. Serena, however, spoke directly, her voice sounding strained. "B, I know that you're hurt, but Chuck _needs_ you. He could lose everything."

"He only has himself to blame." Blair muttered firmly.

"I know you, Blair. I know that you don't want to see Chuck get hurt. If you don't help him when he needs you most, you'll regret it forever."

"I'm sorry," Blair whispered, "But I can't."

The room was deafeningly silent for a moment, with no one making eye contact. Finally, Serena composed herself. "It's ultimately your choice, B. If you change your mind, just give us a call." She reached over to give her friend an awkward half-hug, and then turned to leave, with Dan and Nate trailing behind.

As soon as the elevator clicked shut, Blair collapsed on the stairs, burying her face in her hands. Nothing could ever be easy.

******************************** ***************************************

Blair spent the rest of the afternoon once again attempting to do her homework. She felt lonely, confused, and worst of all, guilty. She thought about calling the girls to take her mind off things, but didn't think she could handle their mindless banter…especially now that Chuck's arrest would likely be plastered all over Gossip Girl.

Normally, she would turn to Serena for comfort, but she was probably out with the breakfast brigade, plotting Chuck's release. Blair shook her head sadly. There was no way those three would ever come up with a scheme good enough to dethrone Jack Bass.

_It's not your fight anymore_, she told herself resolutely. If she didn't force herself to break away from this toxic dance with Chuck, it would likely destroy both of them. But she couldn't stop. _He's like kryptonite_, she thought, before kicking herself for making a Humphrey-like superhero reference.

No, she couldn't fight it. In spite of everything that had happened, the thought of Chuck being ruined by sleazy Uncle Jack still wasn't bearable. Jumping up from her desk she hurriedly gathered her things, pulled on a jacket, and made for the elevator, calling out as she ran, "Darota! I'm going out!"

*************************** *******************************************

Her sadistic side wanted to laugh at the sight of Jack Bass, who thought himself so strong and macho, lying propped up by pillows in a hospital bed. He appeared to be sleeping, though his face was so swollen he looked anything but peaceful. Blair strode with purpose to the bed and addressed him sharply, "Jack!" His eyes fluttered open and he looked up, first registering confusion and anger.

She smiled down at him, then dramatically taking in the whitewashed room, the web of IV and the steadily beeping monitor. "I thought you would be pleased to see me," She smirked. "I heard a rumor that your jaw was wired shut, so that should make this very easy."

Jack grunted, and struggled to sit upright, still glowering at her viciously.

"I also heard that you were pressing charges against Chuck," she said in a businesslike tone, shuffling through a stack of papers, "but I don't think that is such a good idea."

Jack attempted to smirk and subsequently winced in pain, much to Blair's satisfaction.

"Oh, I know what you are going to say," she continued in a false, sugary voice. "Chuck is out of control and there is nothing I can do about it…but that's where you're wrong." She again pulled up the sleeve of her jacket to reveal the bruises on her wrists, adding pointedly, "I don't think that the Board of Directors, or the police for that matter, would be very happy to know that you tried to rape a _high school student_."

Jack's eyes were venomous as he slowly reached for a plastic clipboard hanging from the side of his bed. He quickly scrawled in black ink : **You can't prove ****anything****.**

Blair smiled sympathetically down at him. "Oh, but I can. Obviously you had other things on your…mind, and failed to notice the security camera in corridor. I have the whole thing on video, and it's very clear what happened."

Jack lurched towards her, but Blair simply stepped away, watching him fall back onto the bed, writhing in pain.

"And if that isn't enough for you, I also have this." Standing at a safe distance she produced her phone, and ceremoniously showed him the video she had taken the previous night at Victrola. In spite of the commotion, it sported a very clear image of Jack, sandwiched between two girls and leaning down to take a long snort of white powder.

A look of fear flickered across Jack's face, and he quickly scribbled another message onto his clipboard. **How much do you want?**

Blair snorted in disgust. "You really think you can buy me Jack? I guess you believed what you told Chuck: that I am simply after the Bass fortune. But that's not true. It's all very simple. I want you to drop the charges against Chuck, and let him claim his title as CEO. And as soon as your released from the hospital, I want you on the first plane back to Australia. As long as you sign these papers," she continued, fumbling in her bag for a pen, "and as long as you never show your face here again, I'll just keep this our little secret."

She stood, hands on hips, watching Jack sign the documents. When he had finished, she quickly gathered them, smiling in satisfaction. "So long, Jack. I won't be missing you."

************************************* *********************************

Her encounter with Jack had put a bounce back in her step, and as Blair walked away from the hospital she felt as though she were floating. Back at home, she even had enough motivation to finally complete her Shakespeare paper. A few hours later Serena called, overjoyed at Jack's impending departure.

"I knew you would do it B, but I didn't realize you'd manage to send him all the way back to Australia." She bubbled excitedly.

"Well, never underestimate the power of the master." Blair replied smugly. "But I didn't do this for Chuck, I did it for me. I want that creepy pervert and his roaming hands as far away from me as possible."

"Uh…right," Serena responded. "I guess I should go, Dan and I are going to the park."

"Have fun feeding the ducks with Spiderman," Blair muttered sarcastically.

No sooner had she hung up the phone than there was a tentative knock on the door.

"I'm busy Darota!" She called, turning back to a particularly difficult calculus problem.

"Blair."

She instantly stiffened at the sound of his voice, but tried to mask her surprise by carefully filing her homework back in the proper portfolio. "What are you doing here Chuck?" She asked, slowly turning to look at him.

He was standing rigidly in the doorway, clasping a bouquet of purple peonies. His head was hanging low, and as usual, he wouldn't look at her. "I really screwed up." He said, softly, fumbling with the ribbon attached to the flowers.

Blair felt her heart flutter. There was something about the sight of him standing there, so pathetic and uncertain, that made her want to run and embrace him. Trying to maintain her cool, she mentally counted to five before answering him in a carefully measured voice. "I would say that's an understatement."

He flinched, stepping towards her cautiously and extending the flowers. "I'm sorry". His voice was so low she could barely hear him.

She reluctantly took them, relieved she now had something else to distract her. The arrangement was very pretty, and certainly expensive. Blair turned the flowers slowly in her hands, admiring the deep color of the petals. How long had she been waiting for Chuck to come to her like this? And yet something about the situation was also incredibly painful. No matter how much the flowers had cost, such a common gesture could not make up for months of heartache.

She inhaled slowly. "So, you think if you come over and bring me some flowers everything will be great? I'll just come running back to you so you can walk all over me again?" Despite her best efforts, Blair was aware that her voice was shaking with emotion.

"No." Chuck whispered in a constricted tone, his eyes boring a hole in the floor.

"Then why are you here Chuck? What do you want from me?" Blair cried, finally losing control.

Chuck forced himself to look at her, and she saw with a pang that his dark eyes were incredibly sad. "I wanted to thank you…for what you did for me."

Blair snorted. "Which part? I thought I was just after your inheritance."

Chuck looked as though he had been slapped, but managed to continue on in a low voice, "Even after everything, all the horrible things I said, you still came through for me. If it weren't for you, I would have lost everything."

"I'll just put it on your tab," Blair said sarcastically.

"I will make this right somehow." He stated quietly, stepping towards her. Blair could feel her heart beating heavily as he carefully reached out to touch her face. "I should have been there for you."

Blair felt frozen, unable to tear herself away from him, yet somehow she managed to step back and break the connection. "Well you weren't here for me and you can't fix it." She said, tears sliding down her cheeks. "So please leave."

Chuck stood stiffly for a moment, unsure whether he should pursue the issue or leave as she had requested. He finally nodded slowly, retreating to the door. "I know you don't believe me. You shouldn't. But I will fix this."

She turned her back to him, focusing on the wall to keep from sobbing. "Just leave me alone, Chuck." She said hoarsely.

When she turned back to look, he was already gone.

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**Hey everyone, thanks so much for all your great responses! **

flipped : I agree, I actually would love to see him killed off…but I guess that would be a little harder to clean up. I won't be missing him!

TellTale777 : Thank you so much for your feedback! I love how you described it as "twisted push-pull love", that's so true! And I agree, that is what makes them so great to watch and creates insane chemistry. I'll cross my fingers that we have some good scenes coming up on the show…

TheCutie : Thanks! I love Blair too, I think she is hysterical to watch. I love that she can be so scheming and yet so sensitive.

sailor cyanide : Thanks! I just wish we'd gotten to see Chuck pummel Jack a little more on the show!

ghfan84 : Thank you so much…I wish the show would head in a direction where we have a lot more CB scenes as well. I feel like they are torturing us…

indiansummernights : Yeah, Chuck does need to grow up! It's like he keeps sabotaging himself because he is too scared to commit to anything!

riclynshea : I'm glad you didn't think it was depressing. Sometimes I worry that I am overdoing it with the drama. Chuck really needs to wake up and take some responsibility.

samitiny : I like seeing Chuck being more protective as well. Sometimes it seems like he is so wrapped up in his own problems he doesn't realize how much he is hurting other people.

Hoshi Tamamushiirono: Honestly, that was perfect! I don't even know what else to say! Thank you!

AllyO2 : haha, with all Blair goes through for him it must be true love!

ilovedaseyxox ,bluestriker666 ,23 ,xxktnxx ,He'sAPirate and Cadalinda : Thank all of you so much for your great reviews. I can't tell you how much I appreciate them, it totally makes my day!


	12. Broken

**Author's Note: Hi everyone. I am so sorry it has taken me so long to update. My grandfather has been in the hospital and I have been out of state visiting him and away from my computer. So I tried to write an extra long chapter to make up for it!**

**Again, Blair's eating disorder comes up in this chapter, but please be aware as I have said before, I am by no means attempting to glamorize this situation. In this story I want to explore how Blair finally overcomes these issues, as they are incredibly dangerous and serious. Thanks**

**As usual, I own nothing pertaining to Gossip Girl.**

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"So, ladies, what's it going to be this weekend, Tavern on the Green or Gotham?" Blair asked, looking at her friends expectantly.

Isabel wrinkled her nose. "Ugh, please, it has to be Tavern on the Green. Last time I ate at Gotham my salmon tasted rancid. Besides, that place is soooo 90's."

"Agreed," Blair concurred, folding her arms over her chest. It had been three weeks since her last painful confrontation with Chuck, and in Blair's opinion, things were finally getting back to normal. She had regained influence over her posse, which seemed to have gotten out of control during her lengthy preoccupation with Chuck. She had also managed to bring her schoolwork back up to its normal high caliber, though she was still experiencing difficulties with the new teacher. This weekend she had roped the girls into attending a charity gala with her. It would likely be dull, lots of black ties and baby boomers, yet she was determined to keep her social calendar as full as possible.

"Oh Blair, there you are, we've been looking for you." Serena crashed onto the steps next to her, her long blond hair disheveled and her blazer slightly rumpled, as though she had just pulled it out of a pile of clothes on the closet floor. And as usual, without trying, she looked completely stunning.

Blair glanced behind Serena to see Dan. He was standing awkwardly a few feet away, with his hands jammed in his pockets. "Ugh, Serena, seriously?" She groaned, turning her attention back to her best friend.

Serena ignored her, sweeping her golden curls into a messy ponytail. "I wanted to see what you are doing this weekend. Nate is throwing a party at the Palace, to celebrate Chuck's title of CEO."

"Was there a point at which you could have thought about it, and realized that maybe it's a bad idea to ask me to come to a party…for CHUCK?" Blair cried dramatically, looking at Serena in disbelief.

Serena shrugged. "Nate just thought I should ask you anyway, it would mean a lot to Chuck."

Blair looked at her in exasperation. "Great, S, please listen to Nathanial Archibald, the king of observation. I don't know why I have to outline this for you every time. One: Chuck is dead to me. Two: I think I have done more than enough to help him out. Three: I am attending Cyrus's charity gala, and simply can't get away."

'We're going to Tavern on the Green." Penelope put in smugly.

"You've been awfully busy lately, B. I feel as though I haven't seen you."

"That's because I am preoccupied with my active social life and other activities…none of which have anything to do with You-Know-Who." Hissed Blair, giving Serena a murderous look. "you're welcome to come to the gala with me, but don't expect me to turn up to celebrate with him. The Palace is a lame place for a party anyway."

Hazel, Isabel, and Penelope had grown tired of eavesdropping on their conversation, and had moved on to whispering amongst themselves about which outfits they planned on wearing to the charity event. Taking advantage of their moments alone, Serena turned earnestly to Blair. "I know it's none of my business, but for what it's worth, I do feel like Chuck is trying to change."

Blair took a sip from her water bottle. "You're right, S. It is none of your business. I'm much happier without Chuck and all his drama. So please, stop mentioning him and just let me live my life."

It was almost true. By forcing herself to be as busy as possible, sometimes, for a split second, she felt as though she was over it. She almost believed that the pain had dimmed, and then she would catch him staring longingly at her and be overcome with an unbearable feeling of emptiness.

*********************************** **********************************

"Your not being very discreet, you know." Nate informed his friend, casually biting into an apple.

Chuck was gazing across the courtyard at Blair, a vacant look in his eyes. "I really screwed up."

Nate shrugged, chewing thoughtfully. "I hate to be the one to say it, but it wouldn't be the first time."

"No," muttered Chuck bitterly, "But it might be the last. I don't think Blair will give me a another chance."

It was still on the awkward side of things to discuss Chuck's relationship with his former girlfriend. But Nate was struck by how sincere his friend's feelings actually were. Chuck had always been very loyal to him, but it still surprised Nate that his attraction to Blair appeared to be so genuine and deep. Nate hated to admit it, but he never would have thought Chuck had it in him. He sighed, sitting down beside Chuck on the stone bench. "I have to be honest, man, your tactics on this one are kind of weak."

"What do you mean?" Asked Chuck, not removing his gaze from where Blair sat talking animatedly with her minions.

"Well," Nate replied, taking another bite, "Normally you would have thought out at least fifty completely implausible schemes to get her back. But now you are just sitting around and moping like an idiot."

"That's because I don't know what to do." He admitted through gritted teeth. "She's not going to fall for any of those schemes. She just pretends like I don't exist."

"I guess you'll just have to be yourself then, and keep giving her heartfelt apologies until she relents." Nate replied sympathetically, clapping his friend on the back.

Chuck groaned, burying his face in his hands. "I already tried that."

"I guess you'll have to keep trying," Nate insisted firmly. "You made the mess, you need to clean it up."

"Thanks for your vote of confidence," Chuck growled.

"Sorry, no go." It was Dan, who had just materialized next to them. "Blair said she won't go to the party, because she's going to Cyrus's charity gala this weekend with the Mean Girls." He recited amiably.

Chuck looked at him suspiciously. "Why would she want to do that? It will just be a bunch of boring black ties and baby boomers."

Dan shrugged. "My free psychoanalysis would be that she's doing everything in her power to avoid you."

"Thank you Sigmund Freud, but I don't think I asked you." Chuck barked, glaring angrily

at Dan.

"Uh, well, no offense . Sorry if you don't want to hear the truth." Dan mumbled, feeling slightly annoyed.

Chuck narrowed his eyes. "And what is the truth?"

"Um…" Dan fidgeted uncomfortably. "That you're dead to her?"

"That's it," muttered Chuck, clenching his fists. "I have to talk to her."

"Whoa, whoa!" Nate jumped up and blocked Chuck's path. "NOT a good idea. It really isn't going to help if you go angrily confront Blair in front of all her friends. That's only going to make her angrier."

"I don't care." Chuck's breath was ragged.

"Looks like true love to me." Dan added, scratching his head. "But Nate's right, timing is everything."

"Who asked you, Humphrey?" Chuck rasped, attempting to jerk his arm out of Nate's grasp.

"What's going on here?" It was Serena, who had come up behind Dan and wrapped her arms affectionately around his waist.

"Chuck wants to talk with Blair," Nate explained, still struggling to maintain control over his friend.

"Oh, I don't think that's a good idea," Serena said emphatically.

"That's what we told him," Dan interjected, "But obviously he won't listen."

"You can stop talking about me in the third person." Chuck muttered, slumping back down on the bench and running his fingers through his hair.

Serena and Dan glanced at one another uncomfortably. "We should probably head to class," Serena offered, looking down at Chuck.

They headed back towards the building, giggling and holding hands. Chuck eyed them enviously. " I think I have an idea."

****************************************** *****************************

"Ew, gross!" Penelope exclaimed, and the others spun to look at her in alarm. "It's time for class, and we have English with that awful Ms. Carr."

Isabel wrinkled her nose haughtily, "I second that. I don't think I can stand one more day of her going on and on about the greatness of Shakespeare."

Blair scarcely heard them. Instead, she was staring blankly at her phone, her eyes wide with shock.

"Uh, earth to Blair? Didn't you hear us say it's time for class?" Hazel asked, exchanging quizzical looks with the other girls.

"Uh, yeah…" Blair mumbled, still distracted by her cell.

Isabel, Penelope, and Hazel caught on, and immediately flipped open there own cell phones, scrolling for new messages. "Is there some juicy news on Gossip Girl or something?" Penelope asked, puzzled.

"No," Blair replied, snapping out of her trance and clicking her phone shut nervously. "It was just a text from Serena. Actually, could you do me a favor and tell Ms. Carr I'm not feeling well and will be a little late?"

"Sure…" responded Isabel, looking extremely confused. Before she had a chance to ask any more questions Blair leaped up, grabbed her bag, and was walking briskly in the opposite direction.

Blair's heart was pounding in her chest as she quickly strode along the corridor toward the Headmistress's office. Everything around her seemed distant, and her ears were ringing uncontrollably. It was like some kind of nightmare or horror movie was unfolding right in front of her. With her heart racing, it was all Blair could do to keep her breathing even. _Focus_, she told herself, _this has to be some mistake_.

She gave two sharp knocks on the large oak door before letting herself in. Headmistress Queller looked up and greeted her warmly, though she didn't look at all surprised by her sudden entrance. "Blair, what can I do for you?"

"I just received my early notification from Yale admissions," Blair began shakily, "and…they said I was waitlisted. I don't understand…I mean, surely it's a mistake!"

The headmistress smiled sympathetically at her. "I know how much this means to you Blair," she said in her best mentoring voice, "and as you know early admissions is very selective. I am afraid they have already chosen their early admissions applicant from Constance, but not to worry. As long as you keep your grades up for the rest of the semester, you should have no problem gaining acceptance."

Blair sank into a chair in front of Ms. Queller's desk, vaguely aware that she was still clutching her cell phone in her sweaty fist. "Someone else from Constance was accepted?" she asked weakly. "Who?"

The headmistress regarded her patiently. "I'm afraid I am not at liberty to say," she told Blair gently, "but as I told you, this should have no long-term effects on your future plans. You will just have to wait it out."

Blair nodded numbly, mumbled a thank you, and quickly made her exit. Her emotions undulated between grief and fury. Who could have gotten in ahead of her? She was the perfect candidate…she had made sure of that. Her stomach churned, and Blair was overtaken with the overwhelming urge to vomit. Blindly, she turned toward the women's restroom, and dumping the contents of her bag on the floor headed for the first stall.

"Blair, are you okay?" The soft, mouse-like voice belonged to Ms. Carr, and Blair turned to see her hovering in the doorway. "Penelope told me you weren't feeling well?"

"No, actually, I'm pretty sick," Blair said truthfully, feeling her stomach twisting.

"You don't look well," Ms. Carr agreed with concern, "You're really pale. It would probably be best if you went home."

Blair nodded in relief. "Thank you. I was just about to."

"That's why I came to find you," Ms. Carr explained unnecessarily. "I wanted to give you tonight's assignment and also return your essay from last week."

Blair took the papers, and thanked Ms. Carr again.

She was about to jam them into her purse, when the bold red lettering at the top of the essay caught her eye. Blair froze, bringing the paper closer to her face to make sure she was seeing clearly. It was unmistakable. On the top left-hand corner was an ominous bold letter B. Blair dropped the paper as though it were on fire, a raw sinking feeling erupting in her stomach as she felt her last grip on Yale slipping away.

Desperately, she closed the stall door and knelt next to the toilet.

********************************* *************************************

Though she did her best to conceal it with inane chatter and false smiles, Blair was completely bored. As predicted, Cyrus's charity gala was less than stimulating, and there was hardly anyone in attendance under the age of 40. For the first part of the evening, Blair and her posse-Hazel, Isabel, and Penelope-had circulated the room, grudgingly greeting important family friends and demonstrating their best social graces. When this arduous task was a accomplished, they retreated to a corner near the bar and giggled about Mr. Alleroux's terrible toupee over a round of martini's.

At that point, several young men had shown up from a neighboring private school, looking every bit as bored as they were. The girls had instantly pounced, and were now busily flirting and giggling breathlessly. The object of their attention mostly seemed to be Harvey Denton, the very wealthy son of a well-to-do Upper East Side businessmen. But Blair was hardly in the mood for empty flirtation, and instead of joining the crowd had excused herself, and was no nursing her drink broodingly in the corner.

Blair had done everything in her power to avoid any thoughts pertaining to Yale. It was simply too painful. Come Monday, she would began scheming on how to sabotage , who had rejected every one of her pleading attempts to change the grade. In the meantime, she would do everything in her power to remain detached and distracted.

"Blair." He was standing so close to her that she could feel his breath on her shoulder, and she instantly jumped in surprise. Turning, and nearly spilling her drink in the process, Blair whirled to find Chuck smirking at her.

She rolled her eyes and instantly turned away, keeping her eyes on her posse while she addressed him. "What are you doing here, Chuck?"

"Well, I didn't come to see you if that's what you mean." He was still standing

disconcertingly close to her, his voice low and seductive.

In spite of her intentions to avoid him at all costs, she couldn't manage to step away. Trying to seem as nonchalant as possible, she kept her eyes trained on her group of friends, pretending to be as indifferent and disinterested by his presence as possible.

"Then why are you over hear bothering me? Don't you have some board members to woo?"

Chuck made a clucking sound with his tongue, as if chiding her. "Of course. Bass Industries has always been a large supporter of this charitable group. I'm simply here to represent the corporation."

Blair snorted. "I never thought I'd see the day when you came within a mile of an event without fifty hookers and an open bar… Wait, why aren't you celebrating with Nate? I thought he was throwing you some kind of congratulations party?" She had turned toward him again, and was scanning his face suspiciously.

Regarding her calmly Chuck smiled, letting his eyes linger on her lips. "I thought I would put in an appearance here first. You know…acting responsibly, turning over a new leaf and all that."

"I certainly haven't heard that one before," Blair replied skeptically.

Chuck shrugged. "Your drink is empty. Allow me." He reached out to take the empty martini glass, and as his hand brushed her wrist Blair felt her skin erupt with chills. She shuddered slightly, but Chuck simply smirked and walked off in the direction of the bar.

Blair clenched her fists. _There is no way I am just going to stand her and let him get to me like this_, she thought angrily. She looked desperately around for an escape route; the room seeming to grow hotter and stuffier by the second.

"Blair Waldorf?" The timid, questioning voice belonged to Harvey Denton, who had broken away from the circle of twittering teens and was now standing bashfully before her.

"Yes?" She asked, distractedly taking in his sleek, well-groomed appearance. There was no doubt he was a very handsome boy, athletic and preppy like Nate, with broad shoulders and sincere brown eyes. She also instantly surmised that while he was likely a nice kid, he was also completely one-dimensional and uninteresting. Just another traditional, high-society drone.

He introduced himself rather nervously. "I've heard a lot about you. My parents are good friends with Cyrus Rose."

"Oh, really?" Blair asked, trying to suppress a yawn and at the same time feeling guilty for her obviously bored demeanor.

"Excuse me, I don't believe we've met." Chuck had returned, bearing two fresh martinis. He handed one to Blair, took a long swig of his own, and instantly wrapped one arm protectively around Blair's waist. She glared venomously at him, but Chuck pretended not to notice and carried on. "I see you've had a chance to talk with Blair, it's so rude of her not to introduce me." He extended his hand, adding forcefully, "I'm Chuck Bass, Bass Industries."

"Nice to meet you." Harvey bravely returned the handshake, though soon drifted off again, obviously intimidated.

"You had no right to be so rude. I was trying to have a conversation. One that didn't include _you_. " Blair snapped, glowering furiously at Chuck.

He raised an eyebrow suggestively. "With that guy? Come on, Blair, you're going to have to try harder than that. That guy was boring you to tears."

"Seriously, Chuck, why are you here?" She demanded wearily, taking another long drink and hoping it would make things easier.

Chuck ignored her. "Come away with me." It was a command, not a request.

Blair looked at him with a mixture of incredulity and defiance. "No. I told you, I just want to be left alone."

Chuck shook his head. 'No you don't. Besides, this party is lame, and the night is young, what do you say?"

"It never ceases to amaze me that you seem to feel like none of your actions have consequences. The great Chuck Bass just does whatever he wants, when he wants."

"And to whom he wants." Chuck was alarmingly close to her again, his hand seductively placed on her arm.

"I already told you Chuck," Blair responded, staring intently at the remaining contents of her glass. "After what you did, I'm done with this whole song and dance. Finished…for good."

Chuck could see he wasn't getting anywhere, and backed off with a defeated sigh. "Fine. I understand. But obviously this event is a little…lackluster, and I thought you might like to leave. Maybe get something to eat?"

"I'm not interested, Chuck." Blair repeated in frustration. Did she really need to write this down for him?

"How about a drive then?"

She looked up at him, already formulating a snide response, when the sincerity in his eyes caught her off guard. He looked…_vulnerable_. "Fine," she consented grudgingly, "you can drive me home."

Chuck flashed a quick smile of relief before replacing with his usual smirk. "Get your coat, I'll meet you at the limo."

******************************************* **************************

Blair slid quietly into the limo, careful to sit as far away from Chuck as possible. She still wasn't sure why she was allowing him to do this, apparently there was still a part of her unable to resist him. The interior of the limo smelled of leather, alcohol, sweet cigar smoke, and…Chuck's cologne. Instantly, memories came rushing back to her with incredible force. Memories of _that night_.

"Remember what happened last time I took you home?" Chuck asked smugly, appearing to read her mind.

"As hard as I may try to forget." She replied, resting her forehead against the cool glass of the tinted window as the car begin to roll. She pressed her body firmly into the corner, wishing she could simply disappear.

"You don't mean that." His voice was once again sincere, and she noticed uncomfortably that he had scooted closer to her.

Chuck looked down at her, realizing with a jolt that her satin dress had slipped, revealing the lacy edge of her garter. Still beautiful, but her legs looked alarmingly thin. "Blair…"

"What?" She was turned partially away from him, her eyes closed. She was beginning to feel lightheaded again, perhaps she'd had too much to drink.

"I'm sorry."

She moved very slowly to face him, her large, dark eyes meeting his. Chuck felt his heart pounding heavily in his chest. He wasn't going to be able to control himself.

Her words now too, were sincere. "Sorry isn't going to fix this, Chuck."

"I know." His voice once was low and sad.

They rode for several minutes in silence before the vehicle rolled to a stop. Blair looked over at him, surprised. "This isn't my home, Chuck."

But he was already exiting the limo, and swinging the door open for her.

"The Palace?" she asked, appalled. "Are you kidding me? I told you to take me home."

He grinned slyly at her. "I'm sorry, I just had to drop by to take care of something. You can wait here if you want, but I'm sure Nate and Serena would love to see you."

She fixed him with a weary stare and resigned herself to her fate. "Fine, but only for a few minutes, and then you WILL take me home."

"Agreed." Chuck beamed and took her hand, surprised that she didn't resist. She seemed incredibly distracted tonight, he noted worriedly. Even too preoccupied for her normal snide remarks and unyielding anger at his advances.

They entered the Palace bar to find it buzzing with activity. Blair looked blankly at the crowd, the images all seeming to blur together. "Meet me on the roof in ten minutes." Chuck murmured in her ear before breaking away and disappearing into the swarm of people.

Blair still felt dazed. Likely it was due to the heavy combination of alcohol and no food. She'd scarcely eaten anything since she had heard the results of Yale's early admissions, and the stress was simply unbearable. She wandered down the room, half-heartedly searching for Serena's blond curls amongst the crowd. Suddenly, she heard a familiar voice.

She was passing Dan and Nate, who were talking together at the bar with their backs to her. "You must be pretty excited," Nate was saying enthusiastically.

"Yeah, I'm thrilled," Dan replied, a broad grin on his face. "You know, there is just so much drama here, with Gossip Girl, and our families… Going to college together will really give Serena and I a chance to move away from all that and take the next step in our relationship."

"Cheers to that," Nate agreed, raising his glass. "Life without Gossip Girl is going to be easier on all of us. And here's to you and Serena and your new life at Yale."

Blair didn't wait to hear more, she simply fled, unconscious of pushing her way through the crowd. She couldn't believe this was happening. Serena hadn't even wanted to go to Yale, she'd just done it to make Blair angry. And of course it didn't matter that her grades were average and that she'd gotten into more trouble in high school than Paris Hilton had in her entire life…beautiful, golden, perfect Serena would always get what she wanted.

Blair could barely keep the contents of her stomach down as she fought the uncontrollable panic. The very last hope she had clung to through everything-her family problems, her issues with Serena, the awful mess that had happened with Chuck-was finally crumbling. She had never hated herself more.

The lavatory was mercifully empty, but it didn't really matter anyway. Blair let the hot tears stream down her face as she bent over the bowl, throwing up what little was left in her stomach between alternating retching and sobs. She didn't even bother to stop when the door flew open.

"Blair?"

She whirled around to see Chuck standing frozen in the doorway, his face pale and panic-stricken. "What is going on?"

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**Thank all of you so much for your wonderful reviews-you brighten my day!**


	13. Illumination

**Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I don't own anything associated with Gossip Girl.**

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Blair stood rooted to the spot, her jumbled mind fighting desperately to find an excuse. A moment ago the pain had been so overwhelming she hadn't cared if the entire world was watching her. Yet somehow in her wildest dreams she had never imagined that Chuck would find out. She absolutely could not allow him see her weakness, and now that she had been caught in the act, she felt horrified.

Trembling, she wiped her lips, leaning against the stall doorframe for support, her back to Chuck. "I…"she began feebly, "I think I drank way too much." This seemed to be a relatively plausible explanation. Emboldened by her sudden quick thinking, she turned slowly to face him, smiling sheepishly and still refusing to meet his concerned gaze. "I guess I've been spending too much time with Serena, it seems I'm finally picking up her party habits." She joked lightly, finishing off with a false giggle that sounded hollow in the empty bathroom.

"Blair." Chuck approached her slowly, tentatively. He sensed that something about this situation was entirely wrong…something much larger than a few guilty cocktails. Yet in spite of the ominous feeling in his gut, the truth still managed to elude him. He reached out to stroke her cheek, and then thought better of it, as if worried that the gesture would worsen her fragile state. Instead, he stood awkwardly next to her, his hands folded clumsily in front of him. _Do something you idiot_, he thought angrily, desiring to punish himself for his ineptitude in dealing with the situation. His mind remained blank, rooting him to the spot.

Blair glanced over at him, unable to resist the burning pull of his gaze. She realized with a flicker of surprise that his dark eyes were shining with emotion-he looked afraid. "I'm fine, Chuck." She blurted out, rubbing her tear-stained cheeks in frustration. "I'm just a little...embarrassed by this. I did not mean to get so drunk. I guess I just wasn't paying attention."

"You didn't seem drunk in the limo." He stated quietly.

Blair bit her lip and hoped she was imagining the accusation in his tone. "It just hit me all of a sudden."

Chuck regarded her in concern. "You're crying." He pointed out bluntly.

She sighed heavily, forcing down more of the sobs that seemed to be lurking beneath the surface. After the raw onslaught of emotion surrounding her fate at Yale, she now simply felt exhausted and numb. She stepped towards him, subconsciously longing for his touch. "Chuck, will you please take me home now?"

He looked down at her, taking in her disheveled appearance. Her lip was trembling, and her makeup was smudged slightly, making her large dark eyes appear even wider. "Okay," he agreed, slowly reaching out to take her hand. She didn't resist, simply let him pull her along, out of the bathroom, down the dim corridor, and through the waves of partygoers.

*********************************** ***********************************

The limo ride was silent. She had broken his grasp on her hand, and scooted back to her corner, once again resting her head against the cool glass of the window. She was vaguely aware of Chuck staring worriedly at her, occasionally fidgeting as though he were about to say something, but instead pressing his lips broodingly against his knuckles and looking away. She maintained her cold indifference, focusing on battling the waves of nausea that threatened to overtake her. She had nearly lapsed into a light sleep by the time they arrived, and only became aware that the limo had rolled to a stop when Chuck gently shook her.

She allowed him to help her out of the car and into the elevator. Mercifully, the stainless doors slid open to reveal a cold, dark apartment, and Blair sighed in relief. Eleanor and Cyrus were still at the gala, and Darota had left. There was no one to witness her disgrace.

Blair turned uncomfortably toward Chuck, wrapping her arms around herself. "Thank you for taking me home. I'll be fine, so…you should get back to your party." She said in a hollow voice.

He shook his head. "I'm not going to leave you here alone."

Though she was overwhelmingly tired, his words struck a chord, and she felt a surge of anger. "Seriously? That's what you're best at Chuck, _leaving me all alone_."

A look of pain flashed across his face before he glanced away quickly, saying softly, "I guess I deserve that."

This admonition surprised her, and she instantly felt a pang of guilt. But before she had a chance to respond Chuck spoke again resolutely. "But I'm trying to be here now, and I'm not leaving."

"Fine." Blair couldn't believe that she was giving in to him again. "But I don't want to talk about it."

He slunk up the stairs after her looking completely dejected and flopped onto the bed, respectfully looking away as she began to slip off her dress.

Blair fingered the delicate fabric, her mind churning. She couldn't make sense of any of it-Yale, Serena, the drama at school, her family, and Chuck. Most of all Chuck. One minute he was pushing her away at all costs, the next he wouldn't leave. How long would it be until the cycle eventually reversed again and he became unapproachable again? She glanced over at him, and suddenly felt a strong, unwanted surge of desire.

"Could you help me with the zipper?" She asked, glancing seductively over her shoulder to where Chuck sat morosely on the bed.

His head snapped up and he practically fell over himself trying to rise from the bed. In spite of her trying night, Blair couldn't help but suppress a smile. Even though she had sworn to herself that her relationship with Chuck was over for good, there was still a small part of her that delighted in the fact that maybe, just maybe he still desired her.

His breath tickled her shoulder, and she couldn't help the question that rose to her lips. "Do you still think I'm pretty?" She asked tentatively, her eyes straying across to the mirror at her vanity. Seeing her sallow reflection there had reminded her inevitably of Serena, golden and perfect, and a familiar feeling of insecurity bubbled in her stomach.

Her query caught him off guard, but Chuck responded without hesitation. "I think you're beautiful; the most beautiful girl I've ever seen."

Hearing Chuck's words should have been soothing, but they brought little comfort to Blair. Surely, he was just attempting to smooth over the awkward situation. She needed more proof. She turned towards him and met his lips without hesitation, nearly knocking him off his feet, her arms encircling his neck.

Chuck wanted nothing more than to give in to her advances, but there was something in the sudden urgency of her kiss that signaled a warning. Going against every atom in his body he somehow managed to pull away, struggling for breath. "Blair…what's…going on?" He panted, holding her at arms length.

"I want you." She pleaded, her breath coming raggedly as she tried to step closer to him.

For a moment he was so shocked by her request he wondered if perhaps he was dreaming again. He gulped audibly, and his heated gaze instantly fell to the smooth skin on her neck, and the strap of her gown which was slipping sensually off one shoulder. He stood there, gaping at her for a moment and fighting for self-restraint before he finally managed to splutter, "Blair, what are you doing?"

Surprised and hurt by what she took for rejection, Blair snapped back at him, "I should think it was obvious."

He shook his head, trying to make sense of this sudden transformation. "But you're drunk!" he insisted, searching her eyes for any clues to her behavior.

"That never stopped you from taking advantage of me before." Blair fumed, glowering angrily at him.

Chuck took another step back, burying his face in his hands. "No, Blair, I'm _worried_ about you-"

Before he had a chance to explain further Blair cut him off, her resentment growing by the second. "You're right Chuck. It was a huge mistake. You've made your feelings toward me very clear. I'm an idiot for thinking you might possibly still be attracted to me."

"Blair!" Chuck protested, completely stunned by her reaction. "That's not it! Of course I'm attracted to you."

"I've never known Chuck Bass to turn down a proposal of sex, so there must be something wrong with me." She responded bitterly.

Chuck looked at her incredulously. "What is this about? What are you trying to prove?"

"Nothing… I just made a mistake." She said icily. "Now get out."

"Blair, please…" He reached for her, but she wrenched away as if he were a leper.

"Stay away from me." She hissed, tears sliding down her cheeks. "Just go away."

When he didn't move she turned on her heel and fled to the bathroom, slamming the door behind her. Chuck stood frozen in place, feeling shell-shocked. He had absolutely no idea what to make of her bizarre actions, nor was he able to pinpoint the cause of her distress, yet one thing was for certain: something was very wrong.

Clenching his fists determinedly he strode to the closed door, pounding loudly. "Blair! Open the door!"

She had turned the shower on, and her voice was muffled by the running water. "Go away, Chuck!"

"I just want to talk to you! You have this completely wrong!" He shouted into the thick, unfeeling wood.

"I said go away!" She shrieked back at him, and he could detect a certain thickness in her voice that meant she was crying.

He thought about simply kicking down the door, rushing in and forcing her to face him; but his rational side told him that would only make matters worse. Instead he settled stiffly back onto the bed and waited in anguish.

************************************* ********************************

"I don't know why you're still here." Blair said in a deadpan tone as she came out of the bathroom.

Chuck hadn't moved in nearly an hour, simply sat mulling over their argument again and again. Now his joints felt incredibly stiff, and he still hadn't managed to make any more sense of things.

She sat down on the opposite edge of the bed, facing away from him. Her voice sounded incredibly distant, and though she was directly across from him, Chuck felt as though there was a canyon between them.

"I'm here because I want to help you." Chuck rallied his strength in order to best present his case. "Obviously you are upset. It's my fault I don't know why. I haven't been here for you. I've been absent, self-absorbed, and ungrateful. But I am trying to change that."

"I told you Chuck, I don't want to talk about it." She responded dispassionately.

He noted with some relief that much of her anger seemed to have dissipated. Daring to persevere, Chuck scooted a little closer to her across the divide. "You don't want to tell me what's going on because you don't trust me. After everything I've done it's understandable."

Blair shook her head. "No," she whispered softly, "I mean, I guess there's some truth to that, but…it's not you, it's just…" Instead of completing the sentence, she buried her face in her hands, sniffing as she felt the hot tears brim to the surface once again.

Chuck froze for a second, unsure of what to do. His normal reaction to Blair's crying was generally forced indifference or anger, usually at himself. But seeing her huddled there, the usual bravado stripped away and her slim shoulders shaking, he felt a surge of emotion that he wasn't able to suppress. Gently, he swung his legs onto the bed, bridging the gap between them.

He pulled her into his grasp and held her from behind, one arm curled around her waist and the other across her chest. Burying his face in her soft hair he whispered soothingly, "its okay, I'm here. I'm sorry." He wanted to say more, to passionately confess his true feelings, to finally say those three little words, but they froze on his tongue. Instead, he satisfied himself by breathing in the floral scent of her neck.

His unrestrained display of intimacy startled Blair, and she stiffened a moment before relaxing in his arms. She no longer had the strength to resist him, and couldn't deny how good it felt to have someone comforting her. She leaned into him, reaching back to wordlessly run her fingers through his dark hair. They stayed this way for what seemed like an eternity, neither one of them speaking.

Blair closed her eyes, and savored the feeling of his touch. Finally, he hauled her fully onto the bed, and then gently down beside him. They lay side by side, Chuck continuing to hold her, murmured softly in her hair, "So are you going to tell me what's wrong?"

Her defenses crumbling, Blair sighed, unconsciously snuggling further into his chest. "I…I don't think I'm going to Yale."

Chuck frowned, genuinely surprised. He had not been expecting this. "Why not?" He pushed gently, holding her a little bit tighter.

Blair took a deep, shaky breath. "I got waitlisted. Headmistress Queller said it didn't matter; that I would get in for regular admission. But then that horrid new teacher gave me a B on a major assignment." She paused for moment to wipe her eyes before continuing. "But I didn't find out_ why_ I got waitlisted until tonight, when I heard Dan and Nate talking…and Serena got in…to Yale…ahead of _me_. She doesn't even care about Yale, she just got in because everyone thinks she's perfect and hand her everything on a silver platter." Having managed to finish her explanation without drawing breath, Blair promptly burst into tears.

Chuck held her for a moment longer before gently rolling her onto her back and leaning over her, taking in her tear-stained cheeks and disheveled mane of chestnut hair. Seeing her so vulnerable was making him feel incredibly protective. Brushing a stray strand of hair from her face, he promised quietly, "We'll get through this. We'll figure it out."

She forced herself to look at him. Their undeniable chemistry coupled with the close proximity created an irresistible pull, and she was unable to stop herself from reaching up to gently meet his lips. The kiss was both passionate and tender, and as Blair reluctantly pulled away she whispered quietly, "thank you."

*********************************** ***********************************

Chuck was propped on one elbow, watching Blair sleep. He was relieved to see that she looked peaceful, her heartbreak over Yale at least temporarily forgotten. He was agonizingly aware of the fact that for so long he had been far too self-absorbed and bitter to see anyone's pain but his own. Blair was so strong and determined; it surprised him to realize the extent of her suffering, that up until recently he had been too distracted to fully understand. He had a sinking feeling that her frustration over Yale was only the tip of the iceberg. Her unpredictable behavior that night had revealed to him an insecurity he rarely glimpsed beneath her defiant and polished armor. At the same time, he felt an incredible glimmer of hope. She had finally opened up to him, and he had finally been able to relinquish his selfishness and be there for her when she needed him.

Lying close to her, he watched the gentle rise and fall of her chest to make sure she was really asleep before he said it; whispering so softly that it was nearly masked by her rhythmic breathing. "I love you."

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**IMPORTANT Author's Note: Thanks everyone so much for reading and reviewing. Once again, I am not going to take the time to respond to everyone personally, but I can assure you that I definitely appreciate your reviews and truly thank you.**

**I have been thinking a lot about the future of this story. Next week, I am going to central Europe for my spring internship, and unfortunately have decided to put this fanfic on temporary hiatus. It really pains me to do this, since I have been enjoying writing and will miss it dearly. However, I will be quite busy and traveling a lot for my internship, and am not sure how often I will have computer access. I figured it will be better to put this on hold than to continue with diminished quality, and I don't want everyone to wonder why I dropped off the face of the earth.**

**There are still a lot of things I want to do and explore with this story, so I promise at some point I will continue. In the meantime, I hope that this chapter provided some sort of temporary closure for Chuck and Blair… at least until I am able to carry on with the next segment.**

**So thanks again to everyone for reading and good luck with your own amazing stories (which I hope to have more time to read when I return)! Cheers!**

**Cayleigh**


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